Baby, It's Christmas & Hold Me, Cowboy Read online

  “I know that.”

  “What I’m saying is that we have to be mature about this. I won’t deny that I want you, but I’m not sure becoming lovers is wise. We’re going to have to remember that this is about friends becoming intimate and nothing more. I don’t want either of us to misrepresent or misunderstand the situation.”

  “Kelly?”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you going to talk all night or do you plan to get your perky butt over here?”

  There was a moment of silence. “Do you have condoms or do you want me to bring them?”

  He sucked in his breath. Talk about getting right to the point times two. “I can scrounge up a few.”

  “A few?”

  “Hey, it’s been a long time.”

  “I’d say no more than ten months.”

  “Ouch. Okay, ten months. But there hasn’t been anyone since Lucy.”

  “It’s been a while for me, too.” She swallowed. “I’ll be right over.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  “Are you going to answer the door naked?”

  He laughed. “Do you want me to?”

  “I don’t think so. I’m nervous already. That would probably send me screaming into the night.”

  “Then I’ll keep my clothes on. But not for long.”

  “I can’t wait.” She hung up the phone.

  * * *

  Kelly stood on the front porch of Tanner’s house staring at the wreath on his door and trying not to hyperventilate. She couldn’t believe she was going to do this...or that they were going to be doing this. What had she been thinking? Or maybe she hadn’t been thinking. How could she be expected to maintain rational thought when someone like Tanner Malone called her on the phone and told her he wanted to see her naked?

  She sucked in a deep breath. This was dangerous territory; she knew that. It had been years since she’d been involved with anyone, and she knew with certainty that she’d spent her entire adult life avoiding anything like a real relationship. She wanted to tell herself that this was just about sex...nothing more. Except she didn’t believe it.

  Which meant, if she was smart, she would turn on her heel and head right back to her car. Only a brainless woman eager for trouble or heartache would push that doorbell.

  She knocked on the door. Oh God, oh God, oh God I can’t do this, she told herself and took a single step back. Just then Tanner opened the door.

  He stood in front of her, backlit by the Christmas tree in the living room. He was big and strong and about the sexiest man she’d ever seen. It didn’t matter that he was casually dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. The soft, baggy shirt merely emphasized the breadth of his shoulders, while his jeans had worn white in interesting places.

  “Kelly?”

  “Huh?” She blinked.

  “Hi,” he said and motioned for her to enter the house.

  She did, stumbling over the threshold and then having to take three quick steps to regain her balance. She groaned under her breath. This was going to be worse than she’d thought.

  “Look, Tanner,” she began, backing away from him. “It’s not that I’m having second thoughts. It’s just that I’m nervous. I don’t do this sort of thing every day.”

  “Really?” He sounded surprised as he closed the door, locked it, then flipped off the overhead light.

  She glanced around and realized that something other than the lights on the tree flickered in the empty room. Then she saw the logs burning brightly in the oversize fireplace. In front of the stone hearth was a thick blanket, a couple of pillows and an ice bucket with champagne.

  Her throat tightened. “You do seduction right, don’t you?” she said, then winced when her voice quivered a little. “It’s okay. Really. I’m fine with this. But maybe we could, you know, talk some before getting right down to doing it.”

  Tanner chuckled. “It? What exactly is ‘it’?”

  “It’s, well, it. Sex.”

  “Sex? Is that what you’re here for?” He took a step toward her. “I’m not interested in sex.”

  She glanced nervously from the blanket to fire and back to him. “We’re going to play cards instead?”

  “No. We’re going to make love. I’ve done both, and, to be honest, I’m not much interested in sex anymore. That was something I did when I was young and foolish. Now I prefer to make love with someone I care about.” He took another step toward her. “Someone I respect.” Another step. He was getting very, very close. “Someone I find incredibly sexy.”

  She made a little squeaking sound. “Me?”

  “Yes, you.”

  In the dim light of the flickering fire his eyes were more black than blue. Despite the fact that he was only a couple of inches taller, he seemed to loom above her like a giant. She felt small and fragile and incredibly aroused. Unfortunately, she was more nervous than anything else, and it was all she could do to stand her ground. It would be so easy to turn and run.

  “But we can talk first, if that would help you relax,” he said, moving forward again. He stopped directly in front of her.

  He was close enough that she could inhale the familiar scent of his body and feel his heat. He reached toward her and slipped her large tote off her shoulder. Not sure if she was spending the night, Kelly had thrown a couple of things into a bag so she wouldn’t be caught without a toothbrush in the morning.

  “So how long do you want me to stay?” she asked as he set her tote on the floor. “I mean are you a do-it-and-leave kind of guy, or do you like to cuddle after?”

  He cupped her face. “Is there somewhere you have to be in the morning?”

  “Yes. Work. We both have to be there.”

  “Good point. Okay, stay as long as you’re comfortable. I’d like you to spend the night, but you don’t have to.”

  She nodded. “I think I’ll play it by ear.”

  “Good idea. Speaking of which...”

  He leaned in close and kissed the sensitive skin just behind her ear. Then he drew the lobe into his mouth and sucked. She stiffened as fire shot through her, and her breath caught in her already tight throat. How was she supposed to think when he was doing that?

  “I thought we were going to talk,” she whispered. “To help me relax.”

  “You can talk,” he told her. “I’ll listen.”

  But he was already trailing kisses down her throat. Her sweater had a modest V-neck. Tanner nibbled his way to the bottom of the V, then licked the skin not quite exposed by the soft knit. Her thighs shook, then began to smolder as her blood heated to near boiling. Already her breasts were uncomfortably swollen.

  “You’re not talking,” he said as his hands settled on her waist. He tugged at the hem of her sweater. Before she could figure out what he was doing, he’d pulled it over her head.

  So much for conversation. But oddly enough, Kelly found she didn’t mind. She knew that the only way to get over her case of nerves was to do the one thing she was afraid of. Which meant making love with Tanner.

  She noticed he was staring at her bra. “You lied,” he said.

  Now it was her turn to feel in control. “I said I didn’t have trashy lingerie. This isn’t trashy.”

  He fingered the strap of the peach silk-and-lace bra. “It’s beautiful. Not as beautiful as what it covers, but still very nice.”

  She raised her arms until they rested on his shoulders; then she pressed herself against him. “You’re not the only one who gets lingerie catalogues in the mail. The difference is I order from them. Now do you want to talk all night, or do you want to make love?”

  Instead of answering in words, he wrapped his arms around her, hauled her hard against him and plundered her mouth.

  She was ready for his assault and more than met him hal
fway. As his lips pressed against hers, she parted, welcoming his tongue with eager strokes and thrusts. His taste was sweet and intoxicating. She adored how she could remember his flavor. She knew that if she licked his arm or his belly that he would taste similar there, as well. Variations on a theme—the essences of this wonderful man.

  She clutched his head, burying her fingers into his thick hair. With her free hand she caressed his shoulders. His muscles bunched under her touch, coiling and uncoiling in a demonstration of his strength. His hands moved up and down her bare back. He was warm and smooth. She shivered when one hand reached down to stroke her bottom. He slipped his hand down the back of her thigh, then pulled gently, urging her to lift her leg up to his hip.

  The position brought her hot, ready center into contact with his rock-hard thigh. Involuntarily her hips flexed forward as she sought some release from the building tension. At the same time his arousal pressed into her. Without thinking, she slipped a hand between them and cupped him.

  Instantly Tanner stiffened, sucked in a breath and exhaled her name. “You can’t do that,” he told her, releasing her leg and taking a step back. “Jeez, Kelly, I want to make this good for you, but it’s been a hell of a long time for me and I really want you.” His tense expression turned rueful. “Just think of me as a teenager facing his first time. The slightest touch will make me finish in about a tenth of a second.”

  “Really?” His confession surprised her. She’d thought that he’d been with enough women that one more wasn’t all that special. “How much of this is time, and how much of it is me?”

  As soon as she asked the question, she wanted to take it back. She accepted the fact that she was okay-looking. Not gorgeous but not hideous, either. However, she was not in Tanner’s league. If Lucy had been average for him, then Kelly didn’t have a prayer.

  “It’s about ninety-ten,” he said.

  “Oh.” Ninety percent time. Well, at least she had her 10 percent. That was something. She tried to ignore the disappointment filling her. She’d hoped his answer would be slightly different. Their kisses had been spectacular, but maybe that had just been for her. Maybe he hadn’t felt the same way. Maybe—

  “Wherever you’re going, get off the train right now,” Tanner said, taking her face in his hands and staring into her eyes. Passion flared in his eyes. “Ninety-ten, Kelly. Ninety percent you. Ninety percent me spending many sleepless nights thinking about how much I like you, how lovely you are. Nights I’ve dreamed about kissing you and touching you, seeing you naked and hearing you cry out my name as I enter you. You’ve done more to me with just a couple of kisses than other women have done with a three month affair. I don’t know what it is between us, but I do know that it’s very special. I want you.” He pressed his mouth to hers.

  Kelly didn’t know what to think. If it was a line, it was a darn good one, and frankly she didn’t care.

  “I want you, too.”

  “Good. Now follow me.”

  He led her over to the blanket. Once there he urged her to sit on the soft fabric. He squatted next to her and opened the bottle of what turned out to be champagne, then poured it into two glasses.

  “To us,” he said, handing her one.

  “To us.”

  She took a sip. The cool, bubbling liquid teased her tongue and her throat. She took another sip, then noticed that Tanner hadn’t touched his.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Nothing. Take another drink.”

  She did as he asked, but before she could swallow, he kissed her.

  She didn’t remember setting her glass down, but suddenly her arms were around him and his tongue was in her mouth. The tingling bubbles tickled her mouth, while his smooth warmth provided a counterpoint. The combination of champagne and Tanner was the most erotic mixture she’d ever experienced.

  He urged her onto her back. She went without protest, wanting him to be close, to touch her everywhere. One hand slipped behind her to unfasten her bra; then the scraps of silk and lace were tossed aside.

  “So beautiful,” he breathed as he stared at her breasts. He cupped them gently in his hands.

  His touch was as wonderful as it had been the previous night, only this time they didn’t have to worry about being interrupted by Ryan’s children. She let herself relax and savor the sweetness of his gentle caresses as he explored her curves.

  He cupped her fullness, then ran his fingers along the underside. He explored the valley between her breasts, all the while kissing her deeply. Her mind split, not sure what to concentrate on more. The sweetness of his mouth on hers, or the magic of his fingers on her breasts? Then there was the whole issue of her hard, aching nipples. Why wouldn’t he touch them? The need increased until it was almost pain. Heat, moisture and desire flooded her feminine place making her writhe with longing.

  “Tanner,” she breathed against his mouth.

  “What?”

  She opened her eyes and stared at him. Beneath the fire, she saw gentle teasing. “You’re tormenting me on purpose.”

  “Maybe. Do you like it?”

  “More than I thought possible.”

  “But you want me to touch you somewhere else, perhaps?”

  “Perhaps.”

  “What will happen if I do?”

  She couldn’t help smiling. “It will be very nice.”

  His face was close to hers. He smiled. “Just nice? I was hoping for more.”

  “It will be very, very nice.”

  “Not exactly what I had in mind.” He moved his fingers closer but still didn’t touch her nipples.

  “Have you thought about what it’s going to be like when we’re together?” he asked.

  She was so lost in the sensations he created that it was difficult to concentrate on his question. “What? You mean while we’re making love?”

  “Yes.” He licked her lower lip. “I have. I’ve thought about what it’s going to be like to be inside you. I want you. All of you. I want you ready and gasping for me. I want you to welcome me inside you, then convulse around me. I want you begging and demanding, and I want it to be better than anything you’ve ever experienced before.”

  He kissed her then, a long, deep, passionate kiss that fuddled her already-whirling brain. The images he’d created filled her mind until she felt herself living through the experiences as he’d described them. Combined with the wonder of his kiss and the way his hands felt on her breasts, she found her arousal growing to the point of pain. She needed him desperately. More than she’d needed anyone ever. She’d never been this ready before. Every part of her trembled.

  Then his finger moved slightly. She felt the first touch on her tight, aching nipples. He brushed lightly, circled, then squeezed ever so gently. At the same time he slipped between her legs, shifting so he pressed against her. Electricity rocketed through her. Her hips thrust forward, pulsing, pushing her center against his arousal. It didn’t matter that they were both wearing jeans. She needed pressure there. Something, anything.

  His kiss deepened. She clutched at him, panting, needing. It was too much. It was never going to be enough. She sucked his tongue, held his head in place, then moved one hand lower to his rear and urged him to move faster.

  Pressure built between her legs. Pressure and something else. Something almost unfamiliar. Then, before she knew what was happening, before she could do more than catch her breath, she felt a hot jolt of pleasure against that tiny spot of sensitivity. She rubbed against him harder and faster, wanting to feel him. It happened again. His fingers continued to dance on her nipples, and the jolt grew and lengthened until it collected itself into an intense release. She shuddered against him. She gasped his name and lost herself in the wonder of the moment.

  Tanner continued to kiss her and touch her. With each continued caress, she found her
level of need growing instead of easing. The release had only made her want more. She opened her eyes and stared at him.

  “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “What’s happening to me?”

  “You’re very responsive. I can’t believe I can make you do that just by touching your breasts and rubbing against you.” He looked two parts proud and one part stunned.

  She couldn’t believe it, either. Nothing like this had ever happened to her. But she wasn’t about to complain. Not when she was still aching to feel him inside of her.

  “Tanner, please. I want you.”

  His eyes darkened to the color of midnight. Without saying a word, he sat up and reached for the snap of her jeans. In less than a minute, he’d pulled off the rest of her clothes, and she was lying naked beneath him. The lights on the tree dotted her skin with spots of reflected color. Then he tugged off his own sweatshirt.

  She stared at his broad chest. In the dim light of the fire, smooth skin glowed. Each muscle defined itself, flexing and relaxing with his movements. When he stood up to pull off his jeans, she found herself trembling in anticipation. She could see the outline of him straining against the zipper. Then he pushed down his clothes, and he sprang free.

  He was hard and male and very ready. As he knelt beside her and pulled a condom out of his pocket, she reached over and stroked him. He caught his breath with an audible gasp. His fingers closed on top of her.

  “You can’t,” he told her. “I can’t. You’re too much what I want, and I’ve been thinking about this too long.” He drew her hand away.

  “Later?”

  He flashed her a grin. “Absolutely. I’ll even beg you to touch me if you’d like.”

  She stretched out on her back. “I think I would like that.”

  He put on a condom, but instead of moving over her, he bent low to kiss her. As his tongue teased her mouth, his hand moved between her legs. She parted for him, welcoming his touch. He explored her slowly, gently, thoroughly, learning the secrets of her body. He slipped through the curls. He searched out that one tiny spot and circled it until her hips pulsed and she gasped and the moment of release was within reach. Then he drew back and moved achingly slowly, around and around, not touching that one spot but agonizingly close. Circling, teasing, making her plead, finally rubbing it so lightly, so perfectly, she thought she would weep.