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  She was more sensitive than she’d been before, she thought as he lightly brushed against her nipples. More sensitive, but in an amazing, connected, oh-God-I-might-come-right-now sort of way. Sensation shot through her, burning down to her fingers and toes. Between her legs, she felt both heat and dampness.

  He broke the kiss and smiled down at her. “I used to dream about this when I was in high school. A sexy woman in my attic. I’d nearly forgotten about it, but suddenly the memories are very clear.”

  “Did it ever happen?”

  “Not until today.”

  “So I’m about to fulfill an erotic adolescent fantasy.”

  “That would be my preference.”

  She pretended to consider the matter. “It’s interesting, I suppose. So what exactly did you want to do to this mystery woman?”

  His smile turned wicked. “Everything.”

  She shivered in anticipation. “Can you be more specific?”

  “Of course.”

  But instead of telling her, he bent down, pushed up her T-shirt and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her belly. After unfastening her jeans and pulling them open, he used his tongue to tease her belly button.

  Even as her insides clenched and she fought against begging to be taken right then, she managed to kick off her shoes so he could tug her jeans down and toss them aside. Her T-shirt followed.

  He supported himself on one elbow. With his other hand, he traced patterns on her rib cage. “Your skin is so soft. I used to wonder what it would be like to touch a woman. How she would be different. I read a lot, I listened to other guys talk, I imagined, but I wasn’t prepared for the softness.”

  She liked knowing he hadn’t always been so experienced and together. “So how fast was that first time?”

  He chuckled. “An eighth of a second. I just wanted to be inside and finally do it. I didn’t appreciate the subtleties until later.”

  “Subtleties?”

  He unfastened the front hook of her bra with a quick movement of his fingers. “The way a slow build can make the end result even better. How I can know what you like by the way you react to my touch.”

  The air in the attic was warm, yet goose bumps broke out on her skin.

  “If I do this…” He slipped his index finger across her tight, sensitive nipple.

  Instinctively, she closed her eyes and arched her body toward him, silently asking for more.

  “See,” he murmured. “You react.”

  He bent low and took the same nipple in his mouth. The combination of wet heat and gentle sucking made her gasp. Ribbons of need flowed down her body. She ran her fingers through his hair, then squeezed his shoulders as he shifted to her other breast.

  He circled her, then drew her deeply into his mouth. He trailed one of his hands down her stomach and slipped his fingers under her panties into the waiting dampness below.

  She parted her legs for him and let her eyes sink closed. Yes, she thought hazily. This was what she wanted.

  He explored her, dipping a single finger inside of her before settling on that one hypersensitive spot. Then he began a dance designed to send her screaming into her release. But just as she settled in to enjoy the ride, he straightened and removed his hands.

  Her eyes popped open. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine.” He began unfastening his shirt.

  Oh, good—live entertainment, she thought as she slipped off her panties, then stretched back out and watched Ryan undress.

  He worked efficiently, first shrugging out of his shirt, then kicking off his athletic shoes and tugging at his socks. He moved to his jeans next. Her gaze focused on the impressive bulge there. All that for her?

  “It must be difficult to have your interest out there,” she said as he stepped out of his jeans and colored briefs. She reached toward him and stroked his arousal. “There’s nothing subtle going on. Women can pretend interest we don’t feel. Guys can’t.”

  “We’re more honest,” he said as he knelt next to her and bent down to nibble on her neck.

  “You’re not more honest,” she said, her voice breathless. “But it could get really awkward to be hard in a situation where you don’t want to be. Plus, we always know if you come. Women can fake it.”

  He raised his head and looked at her. “I’d know.”

  “I’m not so sure. Some women fake it really well.”

  “I’d know,” he insisted stubbornly, then he smiled. “We’ll test your theory. Go ahead and try to fake it. See if I’m fooled.”

  He shifted so that he was between her thighs, then parted her gently and gave her an intimate kiss that took her breath away.

  She had no time to prepare, no time to brace herself for the arousing sensation of lips and tongue against her body. She went from “this is nice” to “I need this or I’ll die” in less than a heartbeat. Her body was on fire, her muscles trembled and all she could do was lie there and feel what he was doing to her.

  He moved slowly at first. Exploring, tasting, making her shake and gasp and moan. He circled her center with his tongue before gently sucking.

  She wanted to scream out her pleasure. She wanted this to never, ever end. Instead she parted her legs as wide as she could and pushed herself against him.

  He moved faster against her—stroking up and down, over and over again. He slipped a finger inside of her, moving at the same pace, the same intensity, pushing her forward until she had no choice but to let herself fall.

  Her climax began deep inside of her as muscles began to clench and release in a rhythm as old as time. She gave herself up to the waves of pleasure, calling out his name, surrendering everything.

  Her orgasm went on and on for what seemed like an hour. When the last waves faded away, he shifted and plunged inside of her.

  The unexpected penetration thrilled her. She held on to him, wrapping her legs around his hips, pulling him in closer. He filled her over and over, driving deeper.

  She came again, only this time he was with her. He stiffened and groaned. She took all of him, wanting it to always be like this—the connection. The perfect moment.

  He opened his eyes and looked down at her. “You weren’t faking it.”

  She gave a strangled laugh. “I know.”

  Later that week, Julie stopped by her mom’s house. It was nearly nine, but she’d been caught up in a brief that had taken way too long to pull together. Still, her mother had said any time before ten was fine, and Julie took her at her word.

  She parked in the driveway, then walked to the back door, knocked once and pushed it open.

  “It’s me,” she called, before being led inside by the delicious smell of baking chocolate. “What is that?”

  Her mother looked up from the pan in front of her and smiled. “Perfect timing. The brownies are cool enough to serve. I know you want one.”

  Julie’s stomach growled. “I’m starved.”

  Her mother glanced at the clock on the stove. “Didn’t you eat dinner?”

  “No. I meant to, but I got busy. Then I came straight here. I’ll grab something when I get home.”

  “Julia Marie Nelson, you know better than that. You’re pregnant. You can’t go around skipping meals.”

  Great—talk about feeling as if she were eleven again. “Mom, I know I need to eat regular healthy meals. I’ve been doing really well. But tonight got away from me. I’ll do better.”

  “All right. Save the brownie. I’ll make you something for dinner, first.” Her mother walked over to the refrigerator and stuck her head inside. “I have lasagna.”

  “Yours or Willow’s?”

  “Willow’s.” A vegetarian, all the time. “I’d kinda like something with meat. Anything else?”

  “Some roast from last Sunday. How about a sandwich and a salad?”

  “Sounds great.”

  While her mother removed various items from the refrigerator, Julie collected a plate, napkin and a knife until her mother shooed her away.


  “Go sit. I’ll bring you the sandwich.”

  “Mom, I’m pregnant, not dying.”

  “I know, but sometimes I like to baby my girls.”

  As Julie’s feet hurt and her back was a little achy, she wasn’t about to push the point. Instead she claimed a seat at the island—a tiny version of the massive one in Ryan’s ultra-modern kitchen.

  Ryan. Just thinking about him made her smile. She hadn’t seen him since Sunday when they’d made love in the attic of his old house. That unexpected event had been followed by an evening at her place, which had turned into a very nice sleepover. When he’d left just before sunrise, she’d had to hold back the need to say “we should do this again.” Not because she didn’t want to but because everything was confusing.

  Her life had changed so completely, so quickly. She didn’t know what was happening with him, or what she wanted to happen.

  “Have you been to a doctor?” her mother asked.

  “I have my first appointment next week. I’ll be seeing the same ob-gyn I’ve been using. I like her and I’ve heard she’s great through the whole pregnancy.”

  “Is Ryan going with you?”

  Interesting question. “I don’t know. I haven’t asked him.”

  “You should,” her mother told her. “He seems like a nice young man.” Naomi stopped and winced. “Tell me I didn’t just say that. Nice young man? I sound like my mother. Worse! I sound like her mother.”

  Julie laughed. “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone you’ve entered your dotage.”

  “If I’m in my dotage, what does that make your grandmother?”

  Julie hesitated, then said, “Not the nicest person on the planet.”

  Naomi finished with the sandwich. She opened a plastic container and dumped a prepared salad into a bowl.

  “What do you mean? I thought you liked your grandmother.”

  “I don’t know her,” Julie said, hedging. “She’s a little scary. At first I thought the whole ‘marry my nephew’ bit was charming, but when I really go over what she said, it’s creepy. She can’t control us with money.”

  “I don’t think she was trying to. It was her way of connecting two families. If she’d simply asked you to meet Todd, would you have agreed?”

  “Probably. Just to be nice.”

  Of course without the million dollars on the line, Todd wouldn’t have freaked and Ryan wouldn’t have stepped in. So she would have gone on her date with Todd, been pleasant and it would have all ended very differently. How long would it have been, under those circumstances, before she’d even have met Ryan?

  She was surprised by the panic and regret that seized her. As if not meeting Ryan, not getting involved with him, would be something to grieve.

  She didn’t want to think about that so she turned to a slightly safer subject.

  “Grandma had Ryan and I stop by recently,” she said. “She wanted to know how I’d ended up on the date with Ryan instead of Todd and did I have plans to go out with Todd in the future.”

  Her mother sighed. “She always did love to meddle.”

  “Apparently. I don’t know what has happened to her in her life and I’m sure deep down she’s a lovely person, but I have trouble accepting what she did to you. You were seventeen, Mom. She threw you out and turned her back on you.”

  Naomi set the food on the island. “It’s not her fault. I disappointed both my parents.”

  “Disappointed, yes. Became an ax murderer, not so much. You’re her only daughter. I can see having a big fight, not speaking for a while, but twenty-six years? That’s excessive.”

  “Fraser was a difficult man,” Naomi murmured.

  “He sounds like a tyrant. But here’s what I don’t get. From what I’ve seen, Ruth is a really strong woman. If that’s right, she could have stood up to him and insisted on seeing her child.” Julie touched her mother’s arm. “You did an incredible job with all of us. I don’t regret anything about my childhood. But it makes me crazy that you had to work so hard and suffer so much and they were only a few miles away, ignoring you and us.”

  “I wouldn’t have taken anything from them.”

  “I’m not talking about money. You could have used someone to talk to or with babysitting so you could have an evening by yourself.”

  Her mother smiled. “I love my girls and I’m very happy with my life.”

  “I’m glad. I just don’t understand your mother. I can’t figure out if she’s a victim or the devil.”

  “She’s not the devil.”

  “Maybe. But she does have to take responsibility for actions, or lack of action. We all do.”

  “Even me?” her mother asked quietly.

  Julie looked at her. “What do you mean? Leaving with Dad? Mom, you were seventeen. You’re allowed to be impulsive.”

  “I didn’t mean that so much as what’s happened since then. I know you don’t approve of me.”

  Julie set down her sandwich. Suddenly she wasn’t so hungry. “Mom, I love you and I only want you to be happy. It’s not my place to approve or disapprove. You’ve made your choices.”

  “Which you don’t understand.”

  Julie shrugged. “I don’t. He’s my father and I love him.” Sort of, she thought. “But I don’t forgive him. He has no right to appear and disappear from our lives on a whim. Family is about more than that. Family is about taking responsibility.”

  “He loves us.”

  “He has a funny way of showing it,” Julie muttered. “I can’t stand it when he shows up and you’re so happy. I know what’s coming. Sure enough, he sticks around just long enough for us all to believe in him again, then he’s gone. He breaks your heart over and over and you let him.”

  “He’s a good man and a good father.”

  “He wasn’t a good father to me.”

  “Oh, Julie. You’re going to have to learn to be a little more tolerant of people and their flaws.”

  “What? A flaw is leaving toothpaste in the sink or being chronically late. Abandoning your family over and over is a little more than a flaw. You’re so great and pretty and there are wonderful men out there who would love to have you in their lives. They would treat you like a princess.”

  “I just want to be Jack’s wife,” her mother said sadly. “I wish I could make you understand that loving someone doesn’t mean you get to change him. You accept the good with the bad.”

  “His bad is too big for me,” Julie told her.

  “But not for me.”

  Julie thought about pointing out that there were other women when her father left, but why state the obvious and cause pain?

  “Sometimes loving someone means forgiving over and over,” her mother said. “You pick what you can live with. I can live with this. I have to. He is, as your sister would say, my destiny.”

  “Oh, please.” Julie gave a strangled laugh.

  “I’m serious. Don’t you think I’ve tried to get over him? When you were younger, after he’d stayed nearly three months and I was sure that this time he’d changed, but he hadn’t, I decided I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I wasn’t going to get my heart broken again. So I started dating. I went out with several men. One of the relationships even got a little serious.”

  “Mom! You wild woman. You never said anything.” Julie hadn’t had a clue.

  “I didn’t know how it was going to work out and I didn’t want you girls to be disappointed by another man. I thought it best to wait until I was sure.”

  “I’m guessing it didn’t work out.”

  Her mother shook her head. “I wanted to love him, but I couldn’t. For better or worse, I love your father. I’ve learned I would rather be missing him than trying to love someone else.”

  Julie didn’t know what to say to that. Talk about a sad choice.

  “He’s older now,” her mother continued. “He’ll be settling down soon. And when he does, it will be here. With me. We’ll grow old together.”

  Julie tried to un
derstand, but she couldn’t. “Wouldn’t you have rather had a whole life instead of just the end of his?”

  “I’m content, Julie. You may not understand that, but you need to accept it. This is what I want.”

  “I know, Mom. I’ll let it go.”

  “I hope you can. I hope you can find someone who makes you happy. Is that person Ryan?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  “He’s the father of your child,” her mother said gently.

  Julie looked at the woman who had been so important to her for so long. “You’d like me to just forgive him and move on,” she said. “You’d like to see us married.”

  “I’d like to see you happy. I worry about all my girls. Marina, because she leads with her heart. Willow, because she finds men who need rescuing, and once they’re healed, they move on to someone else. And you because—”

  “Because I’m stubborn and difficult and don’t trust easily.”

  “You because you’ve been hurt and you don’t trust yourself to pick a good man.”

  “Same thing.” Julie poked at her salad.

  “Does Ryan make you happy?” her mother asked.

  “Sometimes. Maybe. He’s not so bad.”

  “I’m sure he’ll want you to be in charge of his ad campaign if he ever runs for public office,” Naomi teased.

  Julie smiled. “You know what I mean. If I pretend we met a different way, then he’s amazing. He’s smart and caring and yeah, I like him.”

  “You can’t change the past.”

  “I know, but occasionally I try to argue with it.”

  Her mother grinned. “Does that work?”

  “Not as well as I’d like. I just wish things were different.”

  “Events can’t be undone. People are who they are. He’s a good man, and the father of your child. You’re starting to care about him. Isn’t all that what you want?”

  “You’d think so,” Julie said with a shrug. “But in my gut, I’m still afraid he’s lying or holding back or there’s some big secret and when it all comes out, my heart will be broken again.”

  “Getting involved is a risk. For what it’s worth, you survived Garrett.”

  “True.” Julie drew in a breath. “But getting over Garrett was a lot easier than it should have been. I’m terrified I won’t be able to get over Ryan.”