The Secret Wife Read online

  Before Elissa could announce that she was back, Gina pointed to the screen. “Can you tell if that’s Elissa or not?”

  “Sure. It’s one of her sisters.”

  Tiffany looked up from the jigsaw puzzle she’d spread on the floor. “How can you tell?”

  “Elissa’s the pretty one.”

  His simple compliment made her want to fly into his arms. He thought she was pretty. She clasped her hands together in thanksgiving.

  “When is Elissa coming back?” Tiffany asked.

  “Maybe later tonight. I’m not sure,” Cole said. “She hasn’t called. She might stay in San Diego awhile.”

  Elissa frowned. She’d told him she would be back this evening and here she was. Why was he saying that to the children?

  “Remember, Elissa’s stay here is just temporary,” Cole said. “She’s helping out Millie, but she’s not part of the permanent staff.”

  Gina straightened on his lap. Her mouth formed a soundless no.

  Tiffany tossed down a puzzle piece. “That’s gross.”

  Elissa wanted to jump into the room and protest her innocence. She had no plans to leave. Then she remembered she had no plans to stay, either. She was here because Cole allowed her to be. She wanted to think about their marriage, but never in that discussion had she considered the children. Was she willing to make a commitment to them, too? It would be wrong to make promises until she was sure.

  Cole was right to protect the kids. What choice did he have? She’d walked out on him.

  She backed out of the room and leaned against the hall wall. The truth slammed into her like an express train, crashing through barriers, shattering pretense, leaving her battered and exposed.

  Maybe she’d started to figure it out when Fallon had forced her to admit she wasn’t willing to discuss a divorce. Maybe she’d known when she’d decided to come and see Cole. Maybe she’d always known.

  Cole was her destiny. She hadn’t come to the orphanage to do good deeds or give away her trust fund, or even to find closure. She’d come because she loved her husband. She’d never stopped loving him.

  The trick was going to be getting him to give her a second chance.

  Chapter Nine

  Elissa wasn’t sure how long she stood in the hallway, forcing herself to keep breathing in and out so that she didn’t faint.

  What now? She could hardly waltz into the TV room and announce her feelings. Aside from the fact that she wasn’t the type to share those private thoughts publicly, she knew Cole wouldn’t believe her. She needed a plan of action.

  Voices from the other room carried out into the hall. The sound of the children made her smile. How simple life could be when one was young. Although it hadn’t been for her or for Cole.

  She forced away thoughts of the past and focused on the present. Her first step was to act normal. Until she figured out what else to do, Cole must never know about her change of heart. He would probably find an excuse to get rid of her if he thought she was entertaining romantic thoughts about him. Better to play it safe…for now.

  She straightened, smoothed the front of her dress, forced herself to smile broadly and sailed into the TV room.

  “Hi, everyone,” she said.

  The children turned toward her. Gina, Shanna and Tiffany made a beeline for her. She dropped to her knees and hugged them. Warm, small bodies pressed against her. Young voices spoke in a cacophony of questions.

  “When did you get back?”

  “Did you have a good time?”

  “Did you bring us anything?”

  Elissa laughed. “This is the best welcome I’ve ever had. I had a wonderful time with my sisters and I’m very glad to be back. Oh, and yes, I did bring you guys something.”

  A couple of dozen pairs of eyes fixed on her. She glanced at Cole, who was still on the sofa but had turned to watch her. She shrugged apologetically. “There’s this wonderful bakery near Kayla’s house. I stopped on my way out of town and got brownies.”

  “Brownies!” Shanna stepped back and clapped her hands together. Her freckled nose wrinkled with delight. “They’re my favorite. Can we have them tonight?”

  Everyone turned to stare at Cole. Elissa tried to read his expression, but couldn’t. He probably resented her for dropping in to his and the children’s lives this way. Maybe the brownies hadn’t been a good idea. But she’d wanted to bring them something, yet it couldn’t be anything too expensive or Cole would suspect that she was the one who had bought the sports equipment.

  He rosé to his feet. “Are they in the car?” he asked.

  “Yes. In four boxes.”

  “You’ll need some help with them. Shanna, go tell the kids upstairs there’s a treat if they want one. The rest of you, stay here.”

  A collective cheer rosé in the room. Cole followed her into the hallway.

  “Are you mad?” she asked when they were out of earshot of the children.

  “No, why?”

  She shrugged. “Bringing back brownies like I did. I didn’t mean it as a cheap trick or anything. I genuinely missed the kids. I was thinking about them as I packed to come back, and I thought about the brownies.”

  As they stepped out of the main building and into the twilight, she felt his gaze on her. His unspoken disbelief was as loud as thunder.

  “I really did miss them,” she said defensively.

  “I never said you didn’t.”

  “You didn’t have to. You have the most eloquent silence of anyone I know.”

  “If that was a compliment, thank you.”

  She bit her lower lip. This was not the way to reconcile with her husband. But what was? Should she talk about the past? The future?

  “How are your sisters?” he asked as they walked toward her car.

  “They’re fine. They send their love.”

  “I doubt that.”

  She stopped and stared at him. He slowed, then turned to face her. In the semi-darkness he seemed to tower above her. His features were in shadow, and unreadable. His strength, the power of him, drew her. Despite everything, he made her feel safe. With him, she could find a place to belong.

  “My sisters don’t hate you,” she said.

  “Fallon does.”

  “She’s angry about a few things you did, but she actually likes you.”

  He smiled briefly. “I’d hate to see her behavior when she dislikes someone. Are they left beaten on the side of the road?”

  “Cole!”

  He shoved his hands into his jeans front pockets. “Did you have a good time?”

  “Yes, I did. Patrick was busy with the opening for the research center. The entire structure wasn’t finished, but the labs were, so they decided to christen it, or whatever it is you do to a building. Anyway, with him occupied, the three of us hung out together.”

  “Talking and eating ice cream.”

  She laughed. “Of course.”

  She looked at his face. He met her gaze. Instantly, thoughts of last week filled her mind. Her impulsive hug, her more impulsive kiss. Was he remembering it, too?

  She felt herself sway toward him. She wanted him to kiss her this time. She wanted to feel his arms around her, his hard body pressing against hers.

  Something hot sparked between them. She felt it singe her skin. Instead of causing her to step back and take cover, she moved closer. A single step. She breathed his name.

  He pulled his hands out of his pockets and turned away. “Your car’s over here, right?”

  “Yes,” she said, careful to keep the disappointment from her voice. “The white Honda. The bakery boxes are on the front seat.”

  If he noticed the clothes piled in the back, he didn’t say anything. He grabbed all four boxes. “I’ll see you inside,” he said, heading back to the main building.

  Elissa stood alone in the dark. Obviously realizing she was still in love with Cole wasn’t going to be enough to win him back. She was going to have to find a way to win his trust. But how did a
wife who had walked out on her husband—especially when that husband already had a problem with abandonment—go about rebuilding trust? How did she make him take a chance on her again?

  Instinctively she knew there were no words that could convince him. It would take action. First she had to get his attention, then she had to keep it focused on them. He’d loved her once. Her sisters were right—he was acting too cautious for that love to be completely dead. There had to be some feelings left; otherwise, he wouldn’t care if she was around or not. She had to find those feelings and bring them back to life. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she refused to let the size of the task daunt her. Cole was her destiny and nothing was going to keep her from him.

  * * *

  Cole frowned as he opened the large box from the university. “Did we order any books?” he asked Millie.

  “I’m on the phone,” she called back. “Give me a sec and I’ll be there.”

  He opened the container and stared inside. Under the welcoming letter was an inventory. According to that sheet there were fifty-seven name tags, fifty-seven notebooks, complete with itinerary adjusted to the age of the student, fifty-seven letters to be given to teachers explaining why the children would be missing school and what they would learn at the camp.

  Camp? “The science camp?” he asked aloud. “There has to be a mistake.”

  He picked up the phone and punched the button for line two. Ten minutes later he hung up, no clearer on what had happened than when he’d first dialed the number.

  Millie walked into his office. “What did you want?” she asked, then caught sight of the box. “What’s that?”

  “Our supplies for the university science camp.”

  Her eyebrows drew together. “I don’t understand. Even with the discount offered, we couldn’t find the money in the budget.”

  “My point exactly. Someone paid for the camp.” Pleasure for the children warred with the sensation of being played for a fool. “Was it you?”

  “Me?” Millie touched a hand to her chest. “Cole, we’ve been through this. Jeff is very specific about financial donations. You know he prefers to give money. Besides, I would have warned you.”

  Her blue eyes held his gaze. There was no reason for Millie to lie to him. She never had before. She preferred straightforward confrontations to subterfuge.

  There was a knock on his open office door. Elissa entered the room. “Am I interrupting?”

  “No,” Millie said. “What’s up?”

  “I paid the bills. I’ve put everything on your desk. If you’ll just sign the checks, I’ll get them in today’s mail.”

  Sunlight shone in through the window and highlighted the gold in Elissa’s hair. She wore it up today, a pile of curls on the top of her head. A simple pink sundress left her arms bare and floated down nearly to her ankles. She could have posed for a cameo. Two parts innocence and one part temptation.

  He wanted to ask Millie to leave, then lock the door behind her, sweep his desk clean and take Elissa right there, between the computer and the phone. Hard and hot, touching her, kissing her, tasting her until the rest of the world disappeared and all that was left was the fire burning between them.

  As quickly as it had occurred, the image disappeared. There would be no moment of passion between them. That part of their relationship was long over. No matter how tempted, he wouldn’t subject himself to that kind of humiliation again. Elissa had made her feelings on the subject very clear. She didn’t like sex; she’d never once been swept away by passion; he didn’t turn her on.

  Elissa pointed to the box on Cole’s desk. “What’s that?”

  “I was just about to ask you,” he said.

  “Me? But I haven’t ordered anything.” She crossed the floor and stared inside. “What is this?”

  “Our letter of acceptance and the materials for the science fair next week. Someone paid for all the children to go.”

  Elissa smiled. “That’s great. Who did it?”

  “I don’t know.” His gaze narrowed. “I thought you could tell me.”

  Her smile broadened. “Don’t look at me. I don’t get paid that much.”

  He kept his expression hard, and her humor faded.

  “Seriously, Cole, I never contacted the university about this science program. Now that you mention it, Millie and I did talk about it a couple of weeks ago. She said the university had offered a discount but it was still too expensive for you to send the kids. I’m glad someone else came through.”

  Like Millie, she had no reason to lie. On her pay, she could hardly afford something like this. So why didn’t he want to believe her?

  “So this is where the party is,” a man said.

  The three of them turned toward the door. Their UPS driver wheeled in several boxes on a dolly. “I’ve got a dozen more back in the truck,” he said, and handed Millie a clipboard. “Here, darlin’, why don’t you sign this for me? And write something nice.” He winked. “I don’t suppose you’re prepared to run off with me yet?”

  The driver was all of twenty-six, a good-looking California surfer type.

  Millie laughed. “Ronnie, one of these days I’m going to accept your flirtatious invitation and you’re going to be left backpedaling so fast, they’ll smell the burning rubber all the way to the Arizona border.”

  “No way, Mills. You know I have this thing for older ladies.” He winked. “Hey, Elissa, Cole. I’ll be back with the rest of the boxes.”

  The young man left. Cole stared at the new boxes. “Now what?”

  Elissa grabbed the scissors from his desk and crossed to the stack. She opened the first one. “Clothes,” she said. “For all the children.” She looked at him. “I guess whoever is sending them to camp wants them to look good.”

  “Curiouser and curiouser,” Millie said, and grinned.

  “It’s not amusing,” Cole told her. A bad feeling nibbled at the back of his neck.

  Thirty minutes later all the boxes had been opened and sorted. There were new jeans, T-shirts and sweats for all the residents. Millie had placed the clothes, along with the name tags and notebooks, into neat piles on the floor of his office.

  “We’ll tell the children at dinner tonight,” she said. “They’re going to be thrilled.”

  “I’m not happy with this,” Cole said. “Something’s wrong. The clothes are all the right sizes. How would anyone know that?” He stared at the two women. “Someone called to get that information. Who was it?”

  Elissa and Millie, both kneeling on the floor, shared a look of confusion. “No one called me,” his wife said.

  “Ditto,” Millie told him. “And before you go accusing anyone else, do you really think it’s that important to find out who is being generous? Can’t you just smile and say thank-you?”

  “No.”

  The older woman rosé to her feet. “Fine. You go ahead and waste time worrying about who dares to interfere in such a hideous way. In the meantime, you’ve got another problem.” She picked up a letter from his desk and waved it in the air. “The university rules require one adult per seven children attending. That means eight adults. We’re going to be short three.”

  Cole hadn’t thought of that.

  “Before you ask, Jeff and I would be happy to come along. We don’t have plans for that weekend and Jeff’s always been a science nut. But that still leaves you one short.”

  “Okay.” He thought about the college kids he had working for them. The science fair would interfere with their class schedules and he really hated to do that. Maybe one of them could juggle things and attend a different lecture.

  “Elissa, would you like to go with us?” Millie asked.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Cole said. “Elissa has no interest in that.”

  Elissa smiled. “Gee, Cole, don’t feel you have to hold back what you’re thinking. Just spit it out.”

  He swallowed hard, fighting embarrassment. “I didn’t mean it like that. If you want to come with us, then y
ou’re certainly welcome. I didn’t think you’d enjoy a science camp.”

  He didn’t think he would enjoy spending four days that close to her. At least at the orphanage he had his own office and lots of people around to act as a buffer. He’d chaperoned camps before. The adults were left to their own devices, and during the day that could mean plenty of time with nothing to do. The last thing he needed was hours spent in Elissa’s presence. He didn’t think he could stand it. Despite all his promises to himself that he would never be tempted by her again, he was only a man. There was no guarantee he would be able to resist the one thing he most desired.

  “I think it would be interesting,” she said. “Thanks for suggesting it, Millie. I’d love to go.”

  “Great,” he said through gritted teeth.

  He would just ignore her, he decided. That would be easy enough.

  * * *

  The science camp was held in an off-campus location just north and east of the city of Santa Barbara in the foothills. Botany students cared for the grounds, experimenting with different plants and fertilizers, creating lush growth and patches of exotic flora.

  Cole stepped away from the sleeping cabin and told himself there was no reason for his grumpy mood. The camp was great, the weather perfect, the kids happy. What more did he want?

  As if to prove that fate had a sense of humor, Elissa walked into view. Perhaps in deference to the outdoor activity, or perhaps to play havoc with his senses, she wore jeans. He’d never seen her in jeans before. Elissa was a soft and delicate woman, preferring gauzy cotton and whispering silk…and dresses. Always dresses.

  He’d found it difficult to be around her at the orphanage, but at least there she was covered from shoulders to midcalves by loose clothing. Here, not only was she always underfoot, but the jeans and skimpy T-shirt left nothing to the imagination.

  Tiffany ran up to Elissa and grabbed both her hands. The preteen spoke intently. When she finished her message, she ran off, toward one of the classroom buildings, obviously eager for her next lesson. Elissa shook her head in bewilderment.

  Before he could stop himself, he approached her. “What was that all about?” he asked, trying not to notice that her green T-shirt not only exactly matched and brought out the color of her eyes, but also molded to the shape of her breasts. The sight of the full curves made him remember what it had been like to touch her there, gently tracing pale skin and sweetly puckered nipples.