Shelter in a Soldier's Arms Read online

  Ashley wasn’t sure how she felt about her boss connecting with her child. She liked knowing he had a soft spot, but was she creating a problem for all of them?

  He stepped forward and set the book on the table. “You could tell her it was from you if that makes you more comfortable,” he offered.

  She shook her head. “You give it to her,” she said, even as she wondered why Maggie’s father couldn’t have been half as open to her presence in his life. Damian had never had any interest in his child. He’d seen her as one more drain on his resources.

  Jeff picked up the bag and headed for the family room. Faint sounds of an afternoon cartoon drifted through the house. Ashley followed him, wanting to see what happened yet knowing she was putting herself in danger by doing so.

  “Uncle Jeff!” Maggie bounced to her feet when she saw him enter the room. She pushed the mute button on the television and grinned. “Whatcha got?”

  “A present.”

  Big blue eyes widened. “For me?”

  “Maybe.”

  Maggie grinned. “It’s for me. What is it?”

  “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

  He held out the gift bag. The little girl practically vibrated with excitement. She took the offering and reverently placed it on the coffee table. Carefully she pulled out the tissue paper, then reached inside for the book.

  Only, it wasn’t just a book. An oddly shaped box held a storybook and a stuffed pink kitten. Maggie’s mouth worked, but she couldn’t make any sound. Obviously Jeff had figured out that anything feline was her favorite.

  “Please read to me,” she said, thrusting the box at him.

  He freed both the book and the cat, handing the latter to her, then settled on the sofa. Maggie plopped down next to him, her body leaning against his, her expression joyful and trusting. She cradled her new stuffed cat in her arms.

  Jeff opened the book. “‘Once there was a pink kitten named Pooky Girl, which was a rather silly name.”’

  Maggie tugged on his suit sleeve. “This is the bestest present ever,” she said.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  Ashley turned away. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hear about the adventures of Pooky Girl, it was that she didn’t want either Jeff or Maggie to notice the tears in her eyes.

  Why did he have to be so darn nice? He was making her like him more than she should. He was making her think of him as warm and caring. That, combined with how hot he looked in jeans or in a suit, not to mention the tango her hormones performed every time he was within spitting distance, was enough to make her crazy. And dangerously vulnerable.

  Jeff couldn’t be a part of her life. He was too different. He was scary, although even as she said the words, she didn’t believe them. Not anymore. But while she might have changed her opinion about him, one thing had stayed exactly the same. He was dangerous to her plans for the future. She wanted love and she had a bad feeling that Jeff’s heart had died a long time ago.

  It was well after midnight when Ashley awakened. She couldn’t say what had startled her from sleep. The house was silent, and when she got up to check on her daughter, Maggie was sleeping peacefully in her bed and holding her new stuffed cat in her arms.

  Ashley told herself it had been nothing and that she should just go back to bed, but something compelled her to pick up her robe and head for the stairs.

  “Oh, right. Like I’m going to check all the windows and doors,” she muttered softly to herself as she walked onto the main floor.

  Jeff’s house was a fortress. She didn’t understand his complex security system, and she knew that everything was safe. Even so she had to see for herself.

  She checked the kitchen and Jeff’s study, then headed to the front of the house. As she crossed by the living room, she saw a shadow by the window. Her mind froze, but her heart recognized. The nanosecond of fear faded.

  Jeff.

  He was looking out into the darkness, studying the night, or perhaps staring into a past that she couldn’t begin to imagine.

  He wore jeans and nothing else. His back was broad, his skin smooth. Muscles rippled and bunched as he shifted slightly. She felt her mouth water, something that had never occurred while she’d been looking at a man. Chocolate, sure. There was nothing like the smell of the confection to get her salivary glands all excited, but she hadn’t noticed the same mangenerated effect until this moment.

  She had the strongest impulse to cross the room and touch him. To stroke his bare skin, to press her mouth to his shoulder and taste him. A shiver rippled through her. It was just hormones, she told herself. She was in the middle of her cycle, so biologically she was predisposed to want sex. Mother Nature at work. But her desire didn’t mean anything—not in the real sense of the word. It was interesting information she wasn’t about to act on.

  “I’m sorry I woke you.”

  Jeff’s voice cut through the night, startling her. She hadn’t realized he knew she was there. “No. You didn’t. I just…” She couldn’t explain how she’d come to be awake. “Sometimes I’m compelled to cruise through the house, making sure things are the way they should be. What’s your excuse for being awake at this indecent hour?”

  She’d made the comment lightly, but when he didn’t instantly answer, she realized she might have crossed over some invisible line in their relationship.

  “Sorry,” she said quickly. “I was making conversation, not prying. You don’t have to answer that.”

  “I don’t mind.” His voice was low and hoarse—as if speaking were difficult for him. “I have a recurring dream. It wakes me up and it’s a while before I can get back to sleep.”

  She suspected his dreams weren’t anything like hers in which she found out she had a final exam in a class she’d never attended or was supposed to pick up her daughter but suddenly couldn’t remember the address of the preschool.

  “Want to talk about it? Sometimes that helps.”

  She made the offer without thinking, then thought about retracting it. After all, did she really want to know the deep dark secrets trapped in Jeff’s subconscious?

  He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. He still stood with his back to her. “I—” He cleared his throat. “There’s a village. It’s on fire. As I walk through it, I realize the people there are more frightened of me than of the destruction of the flames.”

  Ashley listened to the stark words as he told her what happened. She took a step toward him, visualizing the running children, hearing their cries of pain and fear. Her breath caught when he told her what he saw in the reflection of the shallow pool.

  Not human? Is that what he really thought?

  “No, Jeff,” she said, moving closer still. “I’ll admit that you’re a little intimidating, and until I got to know you I thought you were a little scary, but I never saw you as other than a man. And Maggie’s adored you from the beginning.”

  “She’s very special.”

  “So are you,” she told him. “You’re not the easiest guy to get to know, but you have many wonderful qualities.”

  He glanced at her over his shoulder. “My ex-wife, Nicole, wouldn’t agree.”

  “Then she’s wrong.”

  He still faced the window. The room was too dark for her to see his reflection clearly, but she could see the shadow. He shook his head.

  “Nicole saw the truth,” he said slowly. “She knew what I was. She said she was glad we never had children together. She told me that the reason I couldn’t have a baby wasn’t because of my low sperm count but because I wasn’t human anymore. I’d become a soldier and in the process, I’d forgotten how to be just a man.”

  “No,” Ashley breathed, as she instinctively reached out and rested her fingers on his bare shoulder. “No, that’s not true at all. You’re just as human as the rest of us. Just as—”

  Without warning, he spun to face her and grabbed her hand. His touch was strong and firm, but not bruising.

  “Don
’t touch me,” he growled. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

  For a second she thought she’d violated some fighter code. That touching him made him think he was being threatened and put her in danger. But then she noticed that he hadn’t released her fingers and was instead rubbing them with his own. There was something sensual about the caress. Something that made her bones start to melt.

  “Jeff?”

  He stared at her and she wondered how she could have ever thought of his eyes as cold. They weren’t cold at all. Instead fire raged in them. Fire and need and a hunger that made her lick her lips in anticipation.

  She might not have a whole lot of experience with men, but she recognized the powerful desire ripping through him. He was a barely controlled, sexually ready male.

  She should have turned and run for the hills. Or at the very least, her own bedroom. Wasn’t there a lock on the door? Wouldn’t she be safe there?

  Except she found she didn’t want to be safe. Not when the alternative was being held in Jeff’s arms. She felt her own body flaring to life. Needs long denied awoke and stretched, making her ache.

  Slowly, very slowly so he could know what she was about to do, she reached toward him with her free hand and placed her fingers on his chest. She felt warm skin, cool, crinkly hair and a faint tremor.

  He swore and clutched her shoulders. “Ashley.”

  The way he said her name made her want to purr. There was desperation in his voice, and a hunger that cried out from the soul. She raised herself on her toes and pressed her lips to his.

  “I have every intention of finishing this,” she murmured against his mouth. “So what are you waiting for?”

  Chapter Nine

  Ashley should have known that she would be in no way prepared for his kiss. Jeff’s strong arms came around her and he pulled her against him. She’d barely absorbed the feel of his rock-hard body, so unyielding against her own, when his lips claimed hers in a moment of possessive need that robbed her of all will.

  He didn’t explore or ask or hesitate. Instead he pressed his mouth against hers as if his life depended on them kissing at that exact moment. His aggression should have frightened her, she thought hazily, except she felt that she needed him just as much. There wasn’t any air in her lungs and he was her only source of life.

  She parted for him instantly, not needing to be seduced, but instead wanting to be taken. She wanted to experience possession at Jeff’s hands.

  He was a man. She’d been with men before—she had the child to prove it. But no other man had kissed her in quite the same way. Maybe it was a soldier’s attention to detail; maybe it was just good luck on her part. Because instead of accepting her silent invitation to invade her mouth, he continued to kiss her lips. He was aggressive and demanding, yet his barely suppressed violence left her feeling feminine and tender. He slowly explored her lips, making her shiver with anticipation.

  Mouth on mouth, hands on body. Their breath became one. Finally, when he’d discovered her to his satisfaction, he finally stroked her bottom lip with his tongue. The damp heat made her knees tremble. She clutched at his shoulders, needing to anchor herself in a suddenly spinning universe.

  Finally, when she was sure she couldn’t take it anymore, he slipped into her mouth.

  She gasped. If she’d had the breath or strength, she would have screamed. At the first stroke of his tongue against hers, fire ripped through her body. Her breasts swelled, and between her legs a sensation of heaviness and desire made her squirm.

  He tasted completely masculine and perfectly of himself. He stroked her, teased her, discovered her. He was completely in control and she found that made her relax. There was no reason to worry about being awkward. Jeff wouldn’t let her misstep. Lack of fear allowed anticipation to build. She raised herself on tiptoe so she could fit herself more fully to him, absorbing his strength. His large hands began to stroke up and down her back.

  She arched into his touch. She wore a cotton nightgown and a flannel robe. Underneath both garments was a cotton pair of panties. Suddenly the layers were heavy and unnecessary. She wanted to feel his fingers against her bare skin. She wanted the same attention to detail that he gave to their kiss brought to her breasts and other parts of her body.

  He cupped her face and held her slightly away from him. His gray eyes burned bright with need. His fingers trembled slightly, and she was aware of the hard ridge of his desire pressing against her belly.

  “Ashley, I—” His voice was low and hoarse, as if it was difficult for him to speak. “I need you to be sure.”

  She managed a shaky smile. “I’m very sure,” she whispered. “I know it’s crazy for about a thousand reasons, but I want you.”

  She blushed as she spoke, not used to being so bold. But she didn’t call the words back. She did want Jeff more than she’d ever wanted anyone. Even the man she’d been married to.

  He ran his fingers through her mussed hair, then dropped a quick kiss to her mouth. “I don’t have any protection with me.” He shrugged. “I don’t sleep around much, I’ve had a recent blood test and I’m not exactly a pregnancy risk.”

  She couldn’t help smiling. How like Jeff to reassure her that she was safe with him.

  She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his bare chest. He tasted faintly of salt. “Did you think I would want to stop?”

  He didn’t answer with words. Instead he pressed his mouth to hers and hauled her up against him. They kissed deeply and she felt herself disappearing into the experience. Perhaps later she would think that she was crazy for giving in. Perhaps after they’d crossed the line that would change everything, she would have regrets, but not now. Not this night. She sensed that as much as Jeff wanted her, he needed her even more. And it was that need that made him impossible to deny. Well, that and her own aching body that longed for the release his body promised.

  He moved his head slightly so that he could kiss her cheek, then her jaw. Damp kisses tickled her skin and made her gasp. He moved lower, down her neck to the collar of her robe. Once there, he exchanged lips for hands and continued his journey. She sucked in a breath as his hands found and cupped her breasts. Before she could beg him to never, ever stop, he slipped to her waist and her hips. His thumbs brushed the jutting bones there.

  Ashley had a moment of feeling self-conscious. She knew that she was too skinny by at least ten or fifteen pounds. At one time she’d been a tad more lush, but a limited food budget, not to mention the need to provide for her child, had changed that. Still, Jeff didn’t seem to be complaining.

  Instead he dropped to his knees. Once there he pushed at her robe and nightgown, shoving them up to her waist, then moving her hands so that she would hold the fabric. He tugged on her panties, pulling them down. Without thinking, she stepped out of them.

  Ashley felt heat climbing her face. He couldn’t possibly be going to— It was too soon and he was… Well, he just couldn’t.

  But he could and he did. Before she’d figured out a way to act casual about the whole thing, he pressed his mouth to her belly. The kiss touched her down to her soul and made her gasp his name.

  He tenderly nibbled along the sensitive skin there, pausing only to tease her belly button. Her legs began to tremble. She had to brace herself to keep upright. He moved lower and lower still until he reached the most secret part of her. Once there, he gently parted the protective folds of her feminine place and licked her.

  Ashley bit her lip to keep from screaming. Inside her head, a thousand voices echoed with a single cry of pleasure. It was as if he knew her better than she knew herself, she thought hazily, barely able to remain upright as he kissed her over and over.

  He urged her to shift so she could part her legs. She tried to do as he requested, but it was too difficult to maintain her balance. Suddenly she stumbled and was falling, only to be caught in his strong embrace.

  Jeff smiled at her as he lowered her to the carpet in the living room. He se
ttled her on her rear, then carefully drew her robe off her shoulders and pulled her nightgown over her head. She was naked and found that she didn’t much mind. It felt right with him. Maybe a sensible woman would have been nervous or even scared, but all she could think was that she wanted him to pick up exactly where he’d left off.

  Unfortunately he didn’t read her mind. However, what he did instead turned out to be just as wonderful. He bent over her breast and drew one tight nipple into his mouth. The other received attention from his fingers. He licked, he nibbled, he teased until she was writhing on the floor and desperate for more.

  After he’d switched so that her other breast had equal attention, he shifted so that he knelt between her legs and kissed his way down her stomach. Her breath caught as she stiffened in anticipation. Finally he bent low to give her the most intimate kiss of all. The one that made her cry out his name as she drew back her knees and dug her heels into the carpet.

  His hands cupped her hips. His breath was hot, his tongue insistent. She couldn’t stand what he was doing to her. Not for another second.

  “Don’t stop,” she gasped. “Please.”

  She felt more than heard a low, throaty sound of laughter as he continued his ministrations. Then suddenly the world tilted and flew out of control. Before she could prepare herself, a powerful wave of release crashed through her. She was caught up and carried away, drowning in the most amazing sensations she’d ever experienced.

  Once again Jeff caught her in his strong arms. Caught her and held her as she slowly, very slowly, returned to normal.

  When she finally surfaced enough to open her eyes, she found herself staring into his face. He smiled down at her. She felt her own lips curve in response.

  “Mission accomplished,” she murmured. “They teach you that at boot camp?”