Why Not Tonight Read online

  She started her car engine, then shook her head as she realized that was the lesson. To be responsible—for herself and her body by being on proper birth control when actively sexual, for her mental state by dealing with the problem in the moment and not ignoring it because it was uncomfortable or scary. Which was a lot to deal with so early on a Friday morning, but still something to remember. Next time she would do better, she promised herself.

  She drove to the bakery on the way to the office and picked up two dozen donuts. The guys would be done with their first training session and probably starving. She got a couple of scones for Atsuko, then went directly to the gallery. She arrived at the studio and had just finished setting out the donuts when Ronan walked out from the bathroom in back.

  He looked good, she thought, her insides quivering at the sight of him. Freshly showered and pumped up from his workout.

  “Morning,” she said. “How was it?”

  “We ran four miles and did some push-ups and pull-ups. No big deal. Mathias and Nick went home to shower. I used the one here. It’s faster than driving back to my place.”

  “Makes sense.” His house was halfway up the mountain. She motioned to the bakery box. “I bought donuts.”

  “We’re supposed to be in training.”

  She laughed. “Oh, please. It’s a charity event and none of you needs to lose weight. Are you telling me that a little sugar doesn’t sound delicious right now?”

  He ran his fingers down the side of her face, then kissed her on the lips. “What kind of sugar are we talking about?”

  “The bakery kind. Nothing more. We’re at work.”

  “We are, but your place is very close.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Thoughts?”

  “Some of us have a boss to report to.”

  “You’re right. I don’t want to be a bad influence.” He studied her for a second. “You seem more relaxed today.”

  “I am. There is a lot going on, but it turns out I was also dealing with some hormonal stuff. It’s a girl thing.”

  “How come you get to say that but if I ever mentioned hormones I would get slapped?”

  “I don’t know. It’s desperately unfair, isn’t it? Poor you.” She reached for a donut and took a bite. “I will leave you to your emotional pain.”

  He pulled her close and kissed her again. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Me, too.”

  She went back into the gallery, all the while wondering how Ronan would have reacted if she had been pregnant. Not well, she thought. He was dealing with so much with his father and his biological mother. Rather he was not dealing with it. She wished there was a way to help him. A way to—

  “Don’t do it,” she murmured as she walked to her desk. “Don’t force the issue.” As much as she wanted Ronan to move on, this problem was way bigger than her or their relationship. If she got involved, she would only mess things up. Her job was to be supportive and caring and let him figure it out on his own. Although if the right opportunity presented itself...

  * * *

  BY MONDAY, NATALIE was on a roll. Thanks to a weekend spent working on flowers, she was well ahead of her schedule and only had one table left to go. She’d checked in with Pallas and done a walk-through for a similar wedding so she could learn the flow of events. Her office work was complete for the day and she was taking the afternoon to work on something fun just for herself.

  The large mixed-media piece was still in the forming stage, but she couldn’t help thinking butterflies and holly. A weird combination, but it didn’t want to get out of her head, and she’d learned that when it came to her art, she had to respect that. She sketched, then went through the small storage cabinet by her workstation. It was filled with all sorts of one-of-a-kind found objects. Things she’d picked up here and there or that had been given to her. She had crystals, rocks, bottle caps, buttons, pieces of ribbon, shards of glass, metal tins, erasers, dried flowers and leaves, beads, bits of fabric, bottles of glitter, yarn, thread, jewelry wire and dozens of other options.

  The butterfly wings needed to be spectacular, she thought as she crumpled up the sheet of paper on her desk and tossed it into the recycle bin and put a clean page in its place. She adjusted her headphones, searched through her iPod for the right song to inspire her, then pushed Play.

  The opening notes of “Eye of the Tiger” began to play. She hummed along, moving in her seat as she quickly drew the first of three hummingbirds. Maybe the problem was the placement, she thought, drawing faster and faster. Yes, that was it. She needed to—

  The music went silent. She looked up and saw Nick standing next to her.

  “What?” she demanded.

  “You’re half humming, half singing. It’s annoying.”

  “I was not.”

  She looked at Ronan, who gave her a half shrug. “You were.”

  “How you betray me. All of you. Fine. If that’s how you want to be.”

  She got up and walked over to the studio sound system, then set her iPod on the docking station. Seconds later, the opening notes blasted in the huge space. Mathias looked up from the piece he was polishing.

  “Were you even born in the eighties?” he asked.

  “I’m ignoring you,” she yelled over the music.

  Ronan grinned, Nick shook his head and went back to the small piece of wood he was carving, but by the chorus, they were all singing along. After it ended, Natalie turned to pull her iPod when she saw Atsuko standing by the docking station. Her boss raised her eyebrows.

  “Interesting,” she murmured, “what all of you find creative.”

  “If it works,” Natalie told her. “Did you need me for something?”

  “A quick chat, if you have a second.”

  “Of course.”

  Natalie put her iPod into her desk drawer, then followed Atsuko into the gallery. When they were seated across from each other at Atsuko’s desk, her boss smiled at her.

  “The dragon piece sold yesterday.”

  Natalie did her best to look calm and not start dancing in her chair. “That’s great. Thanks for letting me know.”

  “You’re welcome. The clients were asking about other pieces you have available. I had to tell them there weren’t any right now.” Atsuko’s gaze intensified. “They insisted I take their phone number and let them know when you have something else to sell.”

  Natalie had never had anyone ask about her work specifically. She’d always sold everything Atsuko took, but this was different. This was about her!

  “I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “That’s really exciting.”

  “It is.” Her boss opened a desk drawer and pulled out one of the comic book flowers Natalie had made for the wedding. “I hope you don’t mind, but I borrowed this the other night. I’ve been thinking about it.”

  She passed it over to Natalie. “Do you like making the flowers?”

  “They’re fun. I enjoy trying different techniques.” She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I’d want to do this for every wedding coming to town, but now and then, it would be interesting.”

  “Have you thought of doing something like this on a grander scale?”

  “I haven’t,” she said even as she began to consider the idea. “It’s possible, of course. If the flowers got much bigger, they’d need to be reinforced. Or I’d have to use a different weight of paper. I’ve been thinking it would be interesting to use pages from a fashion magazine instead of the comic book paper. All the colors and the thickness of the pages could add dimension. The stems would also have to be different. Stronger. Maybe something with bamboo. I like working with bamboo.” Her voice trailed off. “Sorry. You wanted a simple yes or no, didn’t you?”

  “Not at all. I enjoy hearing about the creative process. Your work is unique. You’re starting to find your style.
It’s never going to be just one thing with you. Not all artists are like that. Nick likes to do different things.” She sighed. “I blame myself, but he’s starting to talk about working with metal again.”

  Natalie tried not to look guilty. The previous year Atsuko had bought some used welding equipment and had offered it to the guys to experiment with. They’d quickly realized they didn’t have the training to create anything and had nearly set the studio on fire. Twice. Everyone had been relieved when the equipment had been put in the storeroom.

  “I wonder what inspired him,” she murmured, avoiding Atsuko’s knowing gaze.

  “I have a suspicion that it was cutting up your car, but we’ll discuss that another time. Back to your flowers. The other day I noticed the shelf you have behind your desk. The one with your origami. There are a few glass pieces there. Ronan’s work, I presume?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “The paper and the glass are an unexpected combination, but they work. You are familiar with his vases of flowers.”

  Not a question, but Natalie responded. “Of course. They’re beautiful.”

  “I agree and they sell very well.”

  Despite the mid-six-figure price tag, Natalie thought, wondering what it must be like to be so talented and successful and, well, rich.

  “I’d like you to create a floral piece on the same scale.” Atsuko pointed to an empty pewter vase in the corner of her office. It had to be at least three feet high. It was slightly battered, but elegant, and had a beautiful patina.

  “Do you think you could create flowers big enough for that?”

  Natalie’s mouth opened, then closed. There was no reason she couldn’t scale up, she thought, eyeing the vase. As for the paper, she was starting to love the idea of using pages from a magazine. Maybe she could buy the unbound, uncut paper directly from the printer. It wouldn’t even have to be a fashion magazine. Anything with colorful pictures would be great. Ooh, a travel magazine would have amazing photographs.

  “I definitely could do that,” she said eagerly. “You wouldn’t happen to have any contacts in the printing business, would you?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do. Would you like me to make some calls and see about getting you uncut overruns?”

  “That would be fantastic. Thank you.”

  “I’ll find out what I can right away.” Atsuko smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re excited about the project.” She touched the flower she’d set on her desk. “This has real potential, Natalie. I’m not making any promises, but if it comes out as well as I think it’s going to, I’d want to price it somewhere in the five-figure range.”

  F-five figures? Five! “That’s both inspiring and terrifying,” she admitted. “I’ll start thinking about what I’d want to do and wait to hear from you on the paper.” If Atsuko didn’t have any luck, Natalie would talk to her friend Wynn and see what she had to say.

  “Excellent. I look forward to seeing the final project.”

  “Me, too.”

  Natalie did her best to walk sedately down the hall. Once she cleared the gallery, she ran across the parking lot and practically floated into the studio.

  The guys had country music blasting out of the speakers. Natalie started for her desk only to be intercepted by Ronan. He was hot and sweaty, but with a satisfied air of a man who had worked hard and worked well.

  “Everything okay?” he asked. “You were gone a while.”

  “I’m fine.” She showed him the flower she’d brought back. “Atsuko took one of these and was thinking about having me do a piece for the gallery, only on a larger scale.”

  She told him about the vase and using some kind of magazine print for the paper. “I’ll have to make a bunch of practice flowers. I need to see if they’ll require supports. I don’t want them to look good for a couple of weeks, then droop. Anyway, it’s so exciting.” She glanced around to make sure no one else was close, then lowered her voice.

  “You have to swear you won’t tell anyone.”

  “I swear,” he said, his green eyes bright with humor. “What?”

  “She said she thought she could get five figures!” Natalie spun in a circle, then clutched the paper flower to her chest. “Do you know what that means? If she got ten thousand dollars, I’d get five thousand. That’s amazing. That’s months of rent. I’d been hoping to take a minisabbatical after I was done helping Pallas with the wedding and all, but that was for maybe two or three weeks. If I could sell something for that much money, I could do two more sabbaticals. Or take a longer one.”

  He continued to smile at her. She knew he was thinking something, but had no idea what.

  “Just say it,” she grumbled. “Whatever it is. You know you want to.”

  “She said five figures.”

  “I know. That’s where I got the ten thousand from.” She rolled her eyes. “You know she gets half of the commission. I’m not like you. I can’t negotiate a special contract or anything.”

  “That’s not my point. You’re assuming a five-figure price tag is only ten thousand. There are a whole lot more numbers you’re not considering.”

  “What? No. Really?”

  She stared at him. He was right, of course. There were all the numbers between ten thousand and ninety-nine thousand.

  “But I just assumed...”

  “That she was talking ten grand?” he asked, lightly touching her cheek. “Maybe she was. Maybe she meant twenty or fifty instead. You could ask her.”

  Natalie couldn’t begin to absorb the possibility. Twenty-five thousand dollars? That would mean she would get twelve thousand five hundred. Anything higher than that was unbelievable. Anything higher than that would mean she could... She could...

  The thought wouldn’t fully form.

  “You could quit your job,” Ronan said quietly. “Be an artist full-time.”

  Yes, that!

  She knew it would be complicated. Her job provided steady income. If she was on her own, she would have to put money away for when her art wasn’t selling. It was daunting to think about but also thrilling.

  “I’m scared,” she admitted. “And excited, and I don’t want to hope too much, but wow. It’s a lot to think about, savings and planning taxes.”

  “It is. I’ll help.”

  “While that’s a really nice offer, you don’t handle any of your own money. You have Atsuko and an accountant.”

  He laughed. “True, but I know the basics. It wouldn’t be hard to come up with a budget for what you need to live and a plan to put money away in savings. Then you’d be able to figure out how much you’d need before you could quit.”

  She was about to agree when the meaning of quitting sank in. “I couldn’t leave the gallery. What a horrible way to thank Atsuko for believing in me.”

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but your office skills, while excellent, are not unique, and in that respect, you can be replaced. Atsuko is smart. She knows what’s going to happen. My guess is she’s more interested in you as an artist than you as her part-time office manager. Don’t forget she gets half. You’re worth a lot more to her out here than back in your office.”

  “You think?”

  “I know.” He kissed her, then turned her toward her work space. “You probably want to get back to what you were doing.”

  “I do. I want to finish the wedding flowers and then start planning the piece for Atsuko. Yay me!”

  She hugged Ronan, then gave herself exactly one minute to consider all the beautiful possibilities. Then she made herself focus on the job at hand. One thing at a time, she told herself. One magical thing at a time.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CAROL HOSTED THE next girlfriend lunch, which meant it was held out on the faux savanna. Natalie loved when they could sit on the ground and picnic while enjoying the light and heat of the sun. The animals g
razed in the distance, and she appreciated that she had friends she could hang out with on a regular basis.

  She’d had friends in school, of course, but after her mom had died, things had changed. She’d given up her art and had gotten a “real” job in an office. From there, she’d met Quentin and the rest was history. After settling in Happily Inc and making new friends, she’d realized that between her mom’s passing and getting engaged to Quentin, she’d let all her other friendships drift away. Maybe it had been because she was so sad or maybe it had been a symptom of losing herself. She wasn’t sure which but she vowed it would never happen again.

  “How’s the new giraffe guy settling in?” Bethany asked as she passed out the sandwiches Carol had provided.

  “He’s good. Already mingling with the girls. We’re going to wait until next year to take one of the girls off her birth control.”

  “Millie should be first,” Silver said. “She has seniority.”

  “That’s what I think, too,” Wynn added.

  “I’ll take that into account.” Carol smiled at them. “So what’s new with everyone?”

  “I saw Wynn and Jasper making out the other night,” Bethany said with a laugh. “Let’s talk about what a hot couple they make.”

  “We’re not a couple,” Wynn said. “We’re just...”

  “Having a lot of sex?” Pallas asked.

  “Yes, but that’s all it is.” Wynn tucked her curly hair behind her ear. “Seriously. When Jasper and I first got together, I said Hunter was my priority. I wanted to keep things light and keep my son out of it.”

  That sounded kind of off-putting to Natalie.

  “Was he okay with that?” Bethany asked, sounding doubtful.

  “He said he was fine with the rules,” Wynn told them. “I don’t want to worry about Hunter getting too attached before I know where things are going. So if Jasper is willing to keep things on the down low, I’m all in.”

  The concept made sense, Natalie thought. In a way it was what she and Ronan were doing. Just hanging out with no expectation about the future. Only when she heard someone else describe the situation, it didn’t seem quite as appealing.