Tempting Faith Page 16

  “Maybe I don’t want to talk.”

  She took a deep breath and moved to stand in front of him. “Maybe I don’t mind that, either.”

  Her calm statement made his mouth water. His gaze swept over her. He told himself she couldn’t possibly mean it. It was just the night or the circumstances. She was Jeff’s friend and he’d promised his boss he would take care of her. Sex wasn’t part of the package. Still, that didn’t stop him from wanting her. He deliberately tortured himself by examining the shape of her generous breasts and watching her nipples pucker under the thin fabric of her gown. He felt the heat of her body so close to his. When he looked down at her feet, he almost groaned aloud.

  She painted her toenails. Bright red. A completely, uselessly feminine flaunt in an otherwise utilitarian life. How the hell was he supposed to resist that?

  He grabbed her by the arms and hauled her close. Her soft curves flattened against him, making his ache harden. “I need you,” he said. “You’re all I have to keep me sane.”

  She stared up at him and licked her lips. Deep inside, a powerful hunger snowballed through him, blocking out all rational thought, all pretense, leaving only the need.

  “Cort, I—” She reached up to touch his face. Her fingers slipped against the stubble on his cheek, making a rasping sound. Her thumb brushed across his mouth. He touched her sensitive pad with the tip of his tongue and made her gasp. She tasted salty and sweet. Her blue eyes darkened, and she nodded as if coming to a decision.

  “I feel it, too,” she murmured. “And I don’t mind if you pretend. I know it’s about her.”

  He jerked his head away from her touch. “What are you talking about?”

  “The woman. The one who broke your heart. I know you’re remembering her. You can pretend she’s the one—” She broke off and glanced down. She seemed to gather her strength together. She shook her hair away from her face and smiled faintly. “You can turn the light off.”

  Passion turned bitter and made him sick to his stomach. He’d told himself he’d lied so he wouldn’t make Faith feel badly, but the truth was he’d lied to hide the blackness of his soul. Now it was coming back to haunt him.

  He stared at her. She was the most open, honest person he’d ever known. He had, through the twisted hollowness of his life, turned her into a replica of himself. She was willing to let him pretend. But a woman like her wouldn’t give herself lightly. He would go to a special place in hell for having reduced her to thinking she could only be a substitute when, in fact, she would have been the best thing that had ever happened to him.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, knowing the words weren’t enough.

  She smiled. “Don’t be. I couldn’t help but notice how you were feeling. It makes perfect sense.”

  “No, it doesn’t. I’m not the right one for you.”

  She flinched as if he’d slapped her. Her eyes flashed with the pain of rejection. “You don’t want me.” It wasn’t a question.

  “It’s not that.”

  “Never mind. I understand.” She stepped back and folded her arms over her chest. He recognized the protective gesture and wished he’d never started this particular game. There was no woman for her to remind him of. She would assume he was thinking of someone else, while he would only be thinking of her. But he couldn’t tell her the truth without hurting her more.

  “You can do better than me,” he said, trying to ease her discomfort.

  “Funny, that’s what they all say.”

  “Faith.” He reached out to her. She took another step back. “I’m just some guy who can’t remember his past. You need to look beyond this to something better.”

  She walked over to the table and braced her arms against one of the chairs. “You mean someone better.”

  That one stung. “Yes.”

  God, he wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to explain there never had been another woman, never would be. He didn’t have relationships, didn’t know how. Faith was the closest he’d come to caring. But telling her would mean admitting the lie, and the blackness in his soul.

  “Faith, I—” He ran his hands through his hair. “Good night.” He walked out of the room.

  He was willing to admit he cared about Faith. But that wasn’t his job. He was supposed to protect her. Better for him to remember that and not try to be her friend. Dan had been his friend, and look what had happened to him.

  In the hallway he paused long enough to wonder when he’d changed. He wasn’t the man he used to be. If only he could figure out if that was good or bad.

  *

  Cort blinked at the bright sunlight and bit back a groan. Last night, after Faith had gone back to bed, he’d taken the bottle of rum and finished almost half of it. Not only hadn’t he been able to forget the accusing look in her eyes, he’d woken up with the mother of all hangovers.

  By the time he fed the cubs and cleaned their cage, the pounding had subsided to the rhythm and volume of a jackhammer. His stomach lurched every time he thought about food, and he wondered if he could ask Faith to simply shoot him and put him out of his misery.

  Just the thought of her made him feel worse. After last night, she would probably enjoy taking a shot at him, but she wasn’t likely to make the end merciful. He slumped down against the building and shaded his eyes from the sun. He would sit here another minute, then he would crawl back to his room.

  Sparky appeared at his side. The black leopard sniffed his face, gave him a rough lick on the cheek, then settled down next to him, laying his massive head on his thighs.

  “Just don’t purr loudly,” Cort muttered, stroking his large, rounded ears.

  “Hey, Cort!”

  Cort flinched at the call. Ken jogged over and squatted in front of him. “You feeling all right?”

  “No,” Cort answered, being careful not to shake his head.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  There was something in the kid’s voice that sounded a warning bell. Cort straightened. “What is it?”

  Ken shifted and sat on the ground. “It’s probably nothing, but I got to wondering, and what with the cubs and all—”

  “The point,” Cort said, then rubbed his head.

  “I met a guy at the fundraiser. He asked me about the cats and offered to interview me for a job.” Ken looked up at him. “It’s tough to get any work with big cats. The zoos don’t have a lot of openings, and private facilities like this don’t usually hire.”

  Faith had told him much the same thing. “So you’re leaving?”

  “No. Not yet.” Ken shrugged. “I met with him yesterday and gave him my résumé. Only last night I realized I’d left out a letter of recommendation. So I called the hotel where he was staying. They didn’t have anyone under that name registered there. Bowmund only has two hotels. I called the other one, then phoned around a few of the local motels on the mountain.”

  “And?” Cort asked, but he already knew the answer.

  “Nothing.”

  “What’s the guy’s name?”

  Ken flushed. “John Smith.”

  “You have a business card?”

  The kid shook his head. “Guess he wasn’t offering me a job, was he?”

  Cort pushed Sparky out of the way and stood up. He ignored the pain in his head and looked at Ken. “Doesn’t sound like it. Did he ask about the cubs?”

  “I think so.” Ken rose and shoved his big hands into his jeans pockets. “I know he asked about security. Cort, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “I know you didn’t. These people are pros. There’s no way you could see what was happening. You were just looking for a job. Did you recognize the guy? Has he been at other fundraisers?”

  “He didn’t look familiar, but I don’t spend that much time with the guests.”

  “We’d better go talk to Faith.” Cort led the way into the building.

  Faith sat at her desk poring over official-looking forms. She glanced up as they entered the room.<
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  “We may have trouble,” Cort said.

  She looked from him to Ken. “You’d better both sit down.”

  Ten minutes later she was going over the guest list. “I know most of the people personally,” she said. “The description could fit a couple, I suppose, but there were about thirty guests I’d never seen before. There was no John Smith at the party, which means he probably used a false name to get in. You’ve seen the tape of everyone who came in the building the night of the party. Did you recognize him, Ken?”

  Ken looked miserable. “I don’t think so. It’s dark and the tape only shows people from the back. Maybe. Oh, I don’t know.”

  “Don’t sweat it, kid,” Cort said. “You did the right thing by telling us. If this guy approaches you again, be polite, but keep your distance. Tell him you can’t talk now, and let me know right away. Whatever you do, don’t play the hero.”

  Ken nodded.

  Faith smiled at him. “Try not to think about this. Why don’t you exercise Tigger for a while?”

  “Okay, thanks.” He left.

  Faith closed the folder in front of her and sighed. “Was it one of the men after the cubs?” She didn’t dare glance up at Cort. He looked awful and she didn’t want to know why.

  “Yes. I’m going to put a call in to Jeff. Apparently they’ve found out we’re holding the cubs here. We need extra security around, and I want him to get those tigers moved as soon as possible.”

  “I don’t like the idea of strangers—”

  He cut her off. “You don’t get a vote. I’m the security expert. I wasn’t kidding when I warned Ken not to play the hero. Don’t you be one, either. We need a team of at least six guys.”

  “Six!” She made the mistake of really looking at him. He hadn’t shaved. The dark stubble made him appear even more dangerous. His eyes were red and had dark circles under them. “You look like hell.”

  “I feel like hell.” He picked up the phone and punched in the number.

  While he spoke with his boss, she toyed with her pencil. She would have to say it. Last night she’d lain awake and stared at the ceiling. The words had circled around and around in her head. She had to thank him.

  He hung up the phone. “All set.” He perched on the corner of her desk. “They’ll be here by tonight.”

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “Just doing my job.”

  “No.” She bit her lip. “Thank you for last night.”

  “Faith, I didn’t mean—”

  “I really appreciate your not taking advantage of me. I’m not promiscuous, and I might have regretted it later.”

  He stared at her oddly for a moment, then nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  That was it? That was all he was going to say? She felt as deflated as a popped balloon. Somehow she’d hoped for a little more from him. Something about how he’d lain awake wishing she were in his bed. Even a flicker of regret. She tossed her pencil on the desk and glared at him. He didn’t seem impressed. As she studied him, she felt her body start to quiver. Despite his rejection and the other woman in his life and everything that was happening with the cubs, she still wanted him.

  “You’re a brave woman,” he said.

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “It doesn’t. The thought just occurred to me.”

  Great. She didn’t want to be brave. She wanted to be irresistible and feminine and all those things she would never be. She laced her fingers together on the desk and allowed herself to think the truth. For once in her life, she wanted to be enough.

  He rose and walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned back to face her. “Courage is a learned behavior, Faith. Who taught you yours?”

  She frowned. “I’m not especially brave.”

  “That’s the whole point. It’s facing the fear that makes you strong.”

  Chapter 11

  Thomas eased his dark sedan to a stop in front of the entrance to the university parking lot. He was not having a good day. He’d been awakened by a phone call informing him he had one week to complete his mission.

  “Or we will be forced to discontinue our association.”

  Thomas grimaced. He knew what that meant. Association, hell. It was him they would be discontinuing. Damn.

  He stared at the college students walking toward their cars. A quick call to the registrar’s office had given him Ken’s schedule. He knew what time his classes ended and had decided to wait by the entrance to the parking lot and intercept the student as he was leaving for the day.

  He needed a way into the compound. Last night had been a complete failure. The gate had been too sturdy for his car to break through, and a study of the equipment used to open and close it had convinced him any tampering would result in an alarm sounding somewhere up at the compound. He’d been forced to drive up the mountain and hike into the facility.

  Thomas grimaced as he shifted in the seat. His arms and legs were a mass of scratches from the underbrush and trees. With only a quarter moon and a flashlight to illuminate the way, it had taken him almost two hours to get near the place. Before he’d even gotten close to the main building, the security guy had been out walking around. Thomas would have taken him out, but then he’d seen the black leopard patrolling the cages. Jesus. A shiver rippled through him. What kind of crazies kept something like that for a watchdog?

  To add insult to injury, his car had gotten a flat. He’d had to roll it down the mountain in neutral. He’d barely made it back to his room by dawn. He had to find a better way inside.

  He was going to get the kid to let him in the gate. It was the only approach that made sense. If the kid didn’t want to cooperate, he would force him.

  The flow of students had subsided some, but now a large group of young people were making their way toward the parking lot. Thomas watched intently. There. Behind the blonde with the big chest. Thomas eased the sedan forward until he blocked the main path. Kids moved around the car, giving him dirty looks.

  When Ken passed in front of him, Thomas opened the door and stepped out.

  “Ken,” he called, forcing himself to smile. “How are you?”

  Ken froze in his tracks. He looked startled, then scared. “You? What are you doing here?”

  Thomas didn’t like the expression in his eyes. He had a bad feeling about this. He casually reached under his jacket for his gun. “I had a few more questions. You got a minute?”

  The last of the students walked toward their cars, leaving Thomas and Ken alone at the edge of the parking lot. Ken shook his head. “Leave me alone.” He started to walk away.

  Thomas sprinted two steps and caught him by the arm. “Not so fast, buddy.”

  Ken jerked free. “Don’t ‘buddy’ me. We’re on to you, man. You’re not going to get away with it.”

  Thomas felt the fury build up inside him. This little piece of trash had ratted on him. He grabbed Ken again and pulled him close. They were almost the same height. Thomas eased the gun out of its holster and pressed the barrel against Ken’s stomach.

  “Don’t make a sound,” he growled. “You hear me?”

  Ken glanced down at the gun and caught his breath. He made a strangled noise in his throat. “Don’t hurt me.”

  Thomas pushed him toward the door. “Get in.”

  Ken’s face paled. “What are you going to do with me?”

  “Just ask you a few questions.”

  The kid had nailed him, he thought with disgust. The whole facility was probably on alert. He cursed. Could it get any worse? He shoved Ken in the back seat, then reached in the glove box for a pair of handcuffs. When the kid was secure, Thomas started the car and drove off around the parking lot.

  “Where’s your truck?” he asked.

  “Over there.” Ken nodded in the direction.

  Thomas stopped behind the truck. The kid would have a remote control device to control the gate. He could make use of that. It would take a couple of days to come up with a fool
proof plan to get the tiger cubs. Before he made another attempt, he had a lot of work to do.

  First he was going to find out everything Ken knew. Then he was going to get rid of his problem.

  *

  Faith slammed down the phone. Two days. Ken hadn’t shown up for two days. She’d put a call in to his dorm room but no one had seen him. Any worry she’d felt disappeared when Ken’s roommate informed her that Nancy, Ken’s girlfriend, had gotten an assignment in Las Vegas. No doubt Ken had taken off with her and was currently having the time of his life.

  She slowly turned her chair until she was facing the window and could see out into the compound. For the last few months, Ken had been completely irresponsible. The incident with the reporter had been the final straw. But since she’d warned him to straighten up, he’d been doing a good job. What had happened? When she got her hands on him…

  She clutched the arms of her chair as a cold ribbon of fear curled up her spine. John Smith, or whatever his name was, had approached Ken and talked to him. Was it possible something had happened to the young man?

  She watched Beth playing with Samson. The bobcat chased after her, catching her easily and gently taking her arm in his mouth. No, not that, she told herself. Ken had to be fine.

  “You look pensive,” Cort said.

  She turned her chair until she could see him. He held the smaller of the tiger cubs in his arms. Little crawled up his chest and nuzzled his neck.

  “I’m just cranky,” Faith said, wondering why on earth she envied the cub’s place in Cort’s arms. She’d put her desire behind her the night he’d turned her down. She wasn’t interested in him. She didn’t care about Cort Hollenbeck at all. She sighed. Yeah, right.

  “One of those days?” he asked.

  She shrugged.

  He came into the office and sat on the chair in front of her desk. The cub sat in his lap and blinked at her. Sparky trailed in, took one look at the cub and walked over to Faith, deliberately turning his back on the younger animal.

  “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” she asked softly, scratching his ears. He humphed at her. She pointed at the cub. “How are they doing?”