Tempting Faith Page 14

  Cort held out his hand. She grabbed it, and he pulled her to her feet. As she brushed off her backside, he looked around the compound. “How did you find this place? Were you always interested in big cats?”

  “No.” She started back to the office. He moved into step beside her. “I never had pets when I was growing up. We moved too much. Then, after my mother died, I was sent away to school. Besides, my father always hated cats.”

  “Is that why you work with them?”

  She grinned. “I never thought of it like that, but maybe. I got a summer job here the year before I went to college. I didn’t know what I wanted for a career, but after that first week, I knew this was where I belonged.”

  He held open the door and she ducked inside. Cort hovered in the foyer. He looked tired and out of sorts.

  “Is it about last night?” she asked.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Is what about last night?”

  “I heard we had a possible intruder. Is that why you’re so jumpy?”

  He shook his head. “Whoever the guy is, he’s long gone.”

  “Then I know just the thing to make you feel better.”

  She’d expected him to be curious about her announcement. Instead he took a step closer and she saw passion flare to life in his brown eyes. The cut on his chin had healed. Suddenly she wanted to touch the scar, tracing it up from his chin to the corner of his mouth. She wanted to be close to him, to inhale the scent of his body. To feel him on her, and in her, tasting her, touching her, until nothing existed except the moment of their joining.

  Need swept through her. She started to sway toward him. He moved close, as if to catch her. She wanted to say yes. But she couldn’t. Her self-respect had been hard won, and she wasn’t about to throw it all away by giving her body without her heart. Cheap affairs had never been her style. She didn’t know how not to care. And Cort had made it very clear he wasn’t interested in any kind of a relationship. He preferred to travel light. At first she hadn’t understood his reluctance to commit to someone, but now that she knew about the heartbreak in his past, it all made sense. Oh, but he tempted her.

  She cleared her throat. “I was thinking of going shooting up in one of the canyons. Want to come along?”

  The passion receded. “Shooting?” He raised his eyebrows.

  “I haven’t been in a while. I mostly use my rifle. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  He seemed to consider his options. She half hoped he would pick sex and simply pull her into his arms. Once he held her, she wasn’t sure she would have the will to resist. Instead he smiled. “Okay, let me get the Beretta and I’ll meet you by the truck.”

  She collected her weapons and ammunition and carried them outside. Cort helped her load everything. She went into the kitchen, grabbed a six-pack of sodas, then stuck her head out the back and told Beth they would return in a couple of hours.

  They drove up the mountain in silence. Cort saw Faith glancing at him every couple of minutes. He wanted to tell her that he was fine, but he knew she wouldn’t believe the lie.

  He hadn’t known how much Faith was getting to him until he’d asked Jeff to take him off the case. Since then he hadn’t been able to think about anything else. It wasn’t hard to figure out his concern. Jeff had said he hadn’t killed Dan, but Jeff hadn’t been in SouthAmerica. Cort didn’t have to have been the one who pulled the trigger to be responsible for what happened to Dan. Was he putting Faith in the same kind of danger?

  He leaned his head back and watched the passing scenery. Lush growth spilled onto the narrow two-lane road. It was too late in spring for many of the wildflowers to still bloom, but wild berry bushes were already budding fruit. Squirrels jumped from tree to tree, and a rabbit crossed the road a hundred yards ahead of them.

  Faith slowed the truck, shifted into four-wheel drive, then turned off onto a dirt path. Branches slapped against the cab as the vehicle slowly moved up the mountain. Ten minutes later, they rolled into a small clearing. A locked shed stood on one side.

  She stopped the truck and smiled at him. “We’re here.”

  He stepped out into the warm afternoon. Taking a deep breath, he smelled wild roses and the soft grass under his feet. “This is exactly what I needed.”

  “Good.” Faith unlatched the gate on the bed of the truck and lowered it. “Let’s see how you do shooting a rifle.” She picked one up and tossed it to him.

  He caught it easily, then collected three more. Faith lifted the heavy case of ammunition. She wore jeans and a T-shirt. As she picked up the case and set it on the ground, the muscles in her arms bunched and released. She was strong. She bent over and reached for the zippered case containing her handgun. Her jeans molded to the firm curves of her rear. She was also very much a woman. In the past he’d always been attracted to ultrafeminine types who would collapse at the first sign of trouble or physical activity that wasn’t directly related to sex or their aerobic workout. Faith was different. She didn’t need to pretend. Hell, she didn’t have time. Working with the cats required total commitment.

  She unlocked the shed and pulled out paper targets. “It’s just through here,” she said, pointing to a break in the trees. She handed him the targets, then picked up the box of ammunition and led the way.

  The path ended in a narrow canyon. Brush had been cleared back to the trees, creating a narrow corridor perfect for shooting. Frames for targets had been set up in front of a muddy hillside. Most were stationary, but a couple were on jointed sections that moved with every breath of the wind.

  For the first half hour, they shot using handguns. Faith couldn’t match him on speed or accuracy, but she was better than most people he knew. The sound of the gunshots gave him a sense of something familiar, and something about his last assignment, but when the memory didn’t focus, he tried to ignore the sensation. He’d finally learned the best way to remember the past was to let it come to him. Trying hard to recall things only made the fog thicker. At the end of each clip, they compared targets. He tried not to gloat, but couldn’t help grinning when they took down the last one.

  “You completely missed the bull’s-eye,” he said, slipping off his ear protection and pointing from the neat collection of bullet holes that punctured the center of his target to the scattered spray on hers.

  Faith shook her head disgustedly. “I never was much good with a handgun.”

  He took her target and held it up in front of him. The bullet holes formed a pattern in the center of his chest. “I don’t think you have to worry about an intruder.”

  Her blue eyes widened. She stared at her gun and then at him. “You asked me once before if I thought I could kill someone.” She flipped on the safety and popped out the magazine. “I’m still not sure. I hope I never have to find out.”

  Cort remembered his own questions about Dan’s death and understood her feelings. He admired her ability to admit she wasn’t sure. So many rookie agents talked about wanting their first kill, as if it were a badge of honor to be won. There was nothing noble in taking another person’s life.

  “I’ll do my best to keep you safe,” he said.

  “Just what every woman needs. Her own warrior prince.” She grinned up at him.

  The makeup from last night was long gone. Her hair hung straight again, pulled back in a ponytail. He could see the freckles on her nose, the faint lines by the corners of her eyes, and he could smell her French perfume. Her shirt was faded, and her jeans had seen better days. None of that mattered. A powerful need swept through him, stirring his blood and making him want to take her here on the spring grass, surrounded by the trees.

  She picked up a rifle and handed it to him. “Prepare to have your butt whipped.”

  He took the weapon and loaded it. The desire was as controllable as any bodily function. He could feel it, but he didn’t have to do anything about it.

  “You sound pretty confident,” he said.

  “I am.” She smiled smugly. “But doubt me all you want.”<
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  She set up the targets. Two of them went on the swinging frames. A light breeze stirred the paper, rocking it from side to side. Cort stepped up to go first. He was used to following a moving target with a pistol, but not with a rifle. Every time he got it lined up in his sights, it moved.

  “You have to anticipate which way it’s going to go,” she offered.

  “Thanks,” he said dryly, as he took a breath, held it and squeezed the trigger.

  The target fluttered as the bullet went through it, but he could see he wasn’t even close to center. He took several more shots, but didn’t get any better.

  Faith stepped next to him and gently pushed him out of the way. “Let me show you how the pros do it, honey,” she purred. Her self-satisfied grin told him he was about to be had.

  She didn’t disappoint him. She put a dozen bullets into a space the size of a half-dollar. By the time she was done shooting, there wasn’t anything left of the paper at the center of the target. She put a second sheet in place and kicked the frame so it wiggled wildly. Even with the additional movement, her shots all went in dead center.

  Cort took the rifle from her. “I’ve been hustled.”

  She nodded modestly. “You should have looked more closely at those trophies. I told you I was a sharpshooter.”

  “Is this something you learned to do in your spare time?”

  “No. Actually, I was forced into it.” She reached for a can of soda and tossed him one. Then she popped the top of her own and sat down under a tree. She dropped her ear protection on the ground. “I learned to shoot a rifle because we use them to tranquilize the wild cats.”

  Cort settled next to her. They both leaned against the rough bark of the maple tree. He stretched his legs out in front of him. “Why you?”

  She shrugged. “When I first came to work for Edwina, I worked part-time, like the kids I have now. She saw I was interested and committed to the animals. When she mentioned a full-time job after I had my associate degree, I was more than willing to switch and study animal husbandry. It’s difficult for people to get jobs working with animals. There aren’t a lot of openings at zoos, and private places like this don’t have the money to hire people. Edwina already had an older man working full-time, but he wanted to retire and go live with his daughter. I could do everything he could, except shoot.”

  She took a swallow of her soda. “I remember the first time he brought me up here.” She smiled. “I couldn’t even keep my eyes open enough to aim at the target. I was terrified. I’d never handled a gun before in my life. Plus, tranquilizing a cat is complex. You have to know the body weight so you get the correct dosage. The dart has to land in a big muscle group. If it hits bone, you’ll break it. If the dart passes through soft tissue into the animal’s internal organs, you can kill the cat.” She pulled her knees up to her chest. “That’s why I aim for the rear flank. If I miss, the dart usually hits the ground.”

  “That’s a big responsibility.”

  “It’s the one part of the job I don’t like.”

  “But you do it.” He shifted toward her and studied her face. A few strands of hair drifted around her cheeks. He reached over and tucked them behind her ear. “You always find a way to surprise me.”

  She glanced down. “What do you mean? I’m just—”

  “You’re not ‘just,’” he said, cutting her off. “I admire the way you don’t let being scared get in the way. That’s a rare strength.”

  “You’re flattering me. I wish it were true. If you knew how many times I’ve been afraid.”

  He touched his finger to her chin and urged her to look up at him. “Everyone is afraid. Most people let the fear win. You don’t.”

  He smelled her perfume. It mingled with the warmth of her body, creating an essence that drew him closer. He wanted to kiss her full lips and feel the passion that had flared between them before. Instead, he traced the line of her jaw, then dropped his hand.

  “Believe me, Faith. You’re a hell of a woman.”

  She dismissed him with a shrug. “If I’m so damn strong, why am I scared of opening a snow-leopard breeding center? I think about it every day. I know it’s the right thing to do. I have all the forms. I have the land. I can apply for permission to import two breeding pairs. If I packed up and moved today, I could be in business in less than six months.”

  “So what’s stopping you?”

  “Me.” She set her soda on the ground. “I’ve never done anything like that. Edwina left me the foundation intact. I just have to keep it running. It’s very different to start over from scratch.”

  He snapped off a blade of grass and toyed with it. “Once you were terrified of shooting a rifle. Now you’re a marksman.”

  “I’m still scared. Every time I shoot a cat, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

  “But you do it, anyway.”

  “I have to. They’re depending on me.”

  “You’ll move when you’re ready,” he said.

  “I hope you’re right.” She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared into the distance.

  Cort drained the last of his soda. It was peaceful out here. Faith didn’t fill the quiet with chatter. She was easy to be with. He could talk to her or be silent with her. She wasn’t afraid of hard work. She was a good leader. She’d given him instructions as to the care and feeding of the cubs, then left him to do the job. He knew she checked on him occasionally, but otherwise she trusted him to get it all done.

  Cort used the same management style when he had people under him. Out in the field, there wasn’t much chance for close supervision. He’d been alone when he’d been sent to South America. Why had he agreed to go? He grimaced. He knew the answer to that: Because it was his job.

  “What’s wrong?” Faith asked suddenly. “You look—” she leaned close to him and her mouth drew straight with concern “—as if you’d lost your best friend.”

  He jerked his head back and started to stand. She placed her hand on his arm. “Cort, don’t turn away from me. I wasn’t prying.”

  He hesitated, then settled back down. He hated to admit it, but he wanted to talk. To her, specifically. “I did just lose my best friend. Except for Jeff, my only friend.” He looked at her. “Does that shock you? That I only had two friends in my life?” “No,” she said simply.

  “Not with what you do. Jeff’s the same way. It’s the job. You learn not to trust people.”

  “I guess you would understand. You live out here alone. You know what it’s like to be on your own.”

  She turned until she was facing him, then sat cross-legged. “That’s all I’ve ever been.” She paused, as if considering her words.

  He found it hard to volunteer information, but he wanted her to ask questions. He trusted her. It was risky to trust anyone, but Faith— It wasn’t just because Jeff trusted her. It was because she was honest and dependable and strong.

  “Have you remembered more of your last mission?” she asked.

  “Some. I know where I was. I can’t tell you the location.”

  “I understand.” She smiled. “Classified. Can we narrow it down to a continent?”

  “No.” He laughed, then sobered. “I was supposed to check out an agent who might have gone bad.”

  “Had he?”

  Cort stared past her into the trees. “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged. “It happens.”

  “Is he dead?”

  He looked at her. “Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. I just wondered.” She spread her hands, palms up. “But he is, isn’t he?”

  Cort didn’t answer.

  She caught her breath. “Did you kill—”

  “No.”

  “Then I don’t understand why you’re so troubled.”

  “I could have,” he said sharply. He rose to his feet and started to pace in the clearing. “I could have been the one to kill him. I still don’t remember enough.”

  “Did
they tell you to kill him? Was that the mission?”

  He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, but he’d figured out the truth. “Yes.”

  “I’ve already told you I don’t envy you your job,” she said, standing up and leaning against the tree. “I wouldn’t want to make choices about life and death, right and wrong. I know you’ve talked about fighting the good fight, but I don’t understand the rules of your war. How do you know the enemy?”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You don’t always. But I can’t give up. That would mean they would have won.”

  “Who are they? That’s what I don’t understand. I guess I’m naive, but I like things to be black and white, or even in color. I couldn’t live in your world of gray.”

  He stood in front of her and looked down at her open face. There were no secrets in her blue eyes, nothing artificial about her life. She lived in a world of defined choices.

  Maybe that’s what was wrong with him. Maybe it was the lack of color. Gray was cold and empty. It left him very much alone. He reached out to her, then dropped his hand. She the appeal and stepped close to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, burying her head in his chest. He hugged her tightly.

  “I’m sorry I don’t know how to help,” she murmured.

  “You’ve done more than you know.”

  He absorbed her warmth as if the heat itself would heal him. How long had it been since he’d allowed himself to hold another person? Not for sex, but because he liked the feel of her body next to his. He’d closed himself off because he couldn’t let himself trust.

  For what? He didn’t know the who’s and why’s anymore. He didn’t know anything. All he’d ever had was the good fight. Even that had been lost. He’d been sent to kill his friend. Circumstance had rescued him, but he knew he could have pulled the trigger. He had become the job.

  He closed his eyes against the past and wondered if once, anywhere, he’d ever made a damn bit of difference.