Beth and the Bachelor Page 10

  She wasn’t interested in his world. She wasn’t interested in him. She flinched, half expecting to be struck by lightning. Okay, maybe she was a little interested, but she couldn’t do this. Not with him. If she ever started dating, she wanted it to be with an average guy who was a little boring. Someone she wouldn’t care about too much. Someone safe. Not a handsome hunk who made her go up in flames.

  ‘‘Why do you want to see me again?’’ she asked, hoping she didn’t sound as scared and confused as she felt. ‘‘We’re not going to date.’’

  ‘‘Why not?’’

  She stared at him. ‘‘I’m not your type.’’

  ‘‘My type just took a turn for the better. We like each other, we have fun together. There’s plenty of passion.’’ He grinned. ‘‘Why wouldn’t I want to go out with you?’’

  ‘‘I’m too old.’’

  ‘‘You’re the perfect age.’’

  ‘‘I can’t do this.’’

  Instead of answering, he moved close and kissed her again. Her body responded with a speed that left her hungry and breathless. She was shivering with need when he pulled away.

  ‘‘I will see you again,’’ he promised.

  ‘‘No, I—”

  He cut her off with another hard, fast kiss, then he was gone…leaving her alone and panting.

  *

  ‘‘Let me see if I understand this,’’ Cindy said the next afternoon as she measured dressing for the potato salad. ‘‘You’re not going to see Todd again because you like him and his kisses make you hot.’’

  ‘‘Exactly.’’

  Beth had spent the last thirty minutes bringing her friend up-to-date on all that had happened the previous day. The two women were working together in Cindy’s kitchen. She and Mike were hosting a barbecue for a dozen or so close friends. Beth glanced at the clock. Company was due to start arriving any minute.

  ‘‘Beth, you’re crazy.’’

  ‘‘No, I’m not. Todd is too risky for me.’’

  ‘‘Because you like him?’’

  ‘‘Yes. I can’t take the thought of falling for him. Besides, it’s wrong.’’

  ‘‘Why is going out with him wrong?’’

  Beth couldn’t believe she had to explain this. ‘‘It’s so obvious. I’m married.’’

  Cindy groaned in exasperation. ‘‘You’re widowed. You’re allowed to date. I think it would be healthy for you to have a personal life that didn’t involve your children.’’

  Beth didn’t want logic or good advice, she wanted sympathy. ‘‘He’s too different.’’

  ‘‘That’s not a bad thing. If they aren’t much alike, you won’t get the two men confused in your mind.’’

  ‘‘There’s nothing to be confused about. I’m not getting involved with Todd. I’ll admit that this experience has shown me that maybe it’s time to start thinking about dating. So I will think about it.’’

  ‘‘For years.’’

  Beth shook her head. ‘‘I need a couple of months to get used to the idea, then I’ll do something. I promise. Just not with Todd.’’

  Cindy stared at her. ‘‘You must have it bad if you’re running so scared.’’

  ‘‘I should hate the way you can read me, but I suppose it’s one of the reasons we’re such good friends.’’ Beth finished slicing the tomatoes and moved on to the cucumbers. ‘‘I had my chance at love and I don’t get to do that again. I believe that everyone gets one shot. I’ve had mine and I was really happy. There’s no point in trying to make something work that’s doomed from the start.’’

  ‘‘That is ridiculous,’’ Cindy said. ‘‘There are many chances at love in life, but I’m not going to argue that point with you. Let’s say your ideas are correct and there is only one great love for each person. For you, that was Darren, right?’’

  Beth nodded.

  ‘‘So you can’t fall in love with Todd?’’

  Beth hesitated. According to her own theory, that was right. So why was the question difficult to answer? ‘‘No,’’ she said at last. ‘‘I can’t love him.’’

  ‘‘Then what’s the problem? If you’re not going to fall in love, then you’re not at risk. You can go out with him, get the experience you need, then move on.’’

  ‘‘You make it sound so simple.’’

  ‘‘It is.’’

  Beth leaned her elbows on the counter. ‘‘Today I picked up one of Jodi’s teen magazines and took the quiz. According to my score, I have a major crush on Todd. Therefore I’m vulnerable. I don’t want to start something I’m not ready for, and I don’t want to get hurt. Why would a man like him want me? I’m nearly twice the age of the women he dates, I have two teenage children. We travel in completely different circles.’’

  ‘‘Seems to me you’ve thought of everything,’’ Cindy said. She smiled. ‘‘With all that stacked against you, I doubt he’ll pursue you.’’

  ‘‘That’s what I think,’’ Beth said, then wondered why the thought didn’t make her happy. ‘‘And it’s unlikely we’ll run into each other anywhere.’’

  ‘‘Right.’’ Cindy’s smile broadened. ‘‘Beth? You might want to turn around.’’

  Beth did so. She kept turning until she was facing Cindy’s backyard. Several guests had arrived. Mike was getting them drinks. A lone man stood by the pool. He looked very familiar. He looked very much like Todd.

  ‘‘I guess I forgot to mention the fact that he called Mike earlier today,’’ Cindy said smugly. ‘‘When he heard about the barbecue, he invited himself.’’

  Chapter Eight

  Even from across the patio, Todd could see the look of surprise and dismay on Beth’s face. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea. Maybe he’d been wrong in his assumption that she would have been thinking about him as much as he’d been thinking about her. In the past twenty-plus hours, he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head. He kept thinking about things she’d said, how she’d looked, how he’d felt when he’d kissed her.

  He’d called Mike Blackburne to find out more about Beth. The man hadn’t wanted to discuss his wife’s best friend until Todd had admitted his personal interest. Then Mike had mentioned the barbecue and Todd had asked to be included. Had that been a mistake?

  It couldn’t be, he told himself. Yesterday had been one of the best times he’d had in years. He’d actually kissed a woman to the point of desperately wanting her, then he’d walked away. Had he ever done that before in his life? Yet with Beth, the restraint had felt right. He’d enjoyed wanting her, even though it had kept him up half the night. She wasn’t the kind of woman a man slept with on the first date. He was going to have to earn her. He found himself looking forward to the challenge…and his inevitable victory.

  Beth left the house and headed toward him. He met her by the pool and grinned. ‘‘You turn up in the strangest places,’’ he said. Her expression was two parts welcoming, one part cautious. He liked the odds.

  ‘‘I could say the same thing about you. This is hardly your style.’’

  ‘‘Maybe I’m changing.’’

  ‘‘I don’t think so.’’ She studied him. ‘‘So what are you doing here?’’

  ‘‘Hanging out with friends.’’

  ‘‘Except for me, and possibly Mike, you don’t know anyone here.’’

  ‘‘Aren’t you my friend?’’

  She paused. She wore shorts and a T-shirt, as she had the day before. Today her top and bottoms were both white. She looked pretty with her wide blue eyes and short red hair. Her mouth turned up at the corners. ‘‘You sound like Mr. Rogers. ‘Will you be my friend?’’’

  ‘‘In a heartbeat,’’ he said, leaning close and lowering his voice. ‘‘I’m not here to invade your world or to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to see you again. I can’t stop thinking about you, about what happened yesterday.’’

  A visible tremor swept through her. Until that moment, he hadn’t really been thinking about their hot kisses at her front door
, but with them obviously on her mind, he found himself reliving them, too.

  ‘‘I actually meant spending time together. The talking and laughing, but now that you mention it, the kissing was also great.’’

  She swallowed. ‘‘I didn’t mention the kissing.’’

  ‘‘You didn’t have to. You were thinking about it.’’

  ‘‘How did you know that?’’

  There were several other couples around them. They were on the Blackburnes’ patio in full view of invited guests and neighbors. Yet he couldn’t help moving closer and touching her cheek. ‘‘I know,’’ he said. ‘‘I watch, I listen, I pay attention. You matter to me.’’

  She shivered again. ‘‘Why me?’’

  ‘‘Why not you?’’

  ‘‘We’ve been over this. I’m not anyone you would want.’’

  ‘‘You couldn’t be more wrong.’’

  He read the confusion in her face. It was time to pull back. He’d already figured out that if he pushed her too far, too fast, he would lose her. Better to go slow. Beth had been in mourning for so long, she’d forgotten how to live any other way. He could afford to give her space and time because there wasn’t any direct competition. Just her fear of him and of the situation.

  ‘‘Do you want something to drink?’’ he asked.

  She looked surprised at the sudden topic change, then nodded. ‘‘A beer, please.’’

  He collected two bottles, then returned to her side. She still looked dazed by all that had happened, so he led her to a couple of plastic chairs in the corner and sat her down. Some neighbors of Cindy and Mike’s joined them. Introductions were made. Todd explained his presence as a ‘‘friend of the family’’ then went out of his way to be charming and friendly. He was determined to show Beth that he could fit into her happy world.

  If a voice in his head occasionally asked why he was bothering with this particular woman, he pushed the question away. He didn’t have an answer yet. All he knew was that when he was with her, he felt as if he’d finally found a place in which he could belong. With Beth he was home.

  *

  ‘‘That was very nice,’’ Beth said a couple of hours later when they left the barbecue together. At least she thought it had been nice. Much of the evening had passed in a blur for her, as if she were watching events through a layer of glass and water. She could hear everything said and respond appropriately, but she didn’t feel as if she was actually there.

  It was all Todd’s fault. He’d invaded her life and she didn’t know how to make him go away. Worse, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Nothing made sense to her. She believed that she had a crush on the man, which was scary and left her feeling exposed. She didn’t for a moment fool herself into thinking she was more than a passing amusement for him. Any second now he would get tired of her company and disappear. She wanted him gone—he wasn’t right for her. But the thought of him leaving made her anxious.

  She couldn’t remember ever being so confused. She wanted him around and she didn’t want him around. Maybe she was just too old to be starting over in the dating game.

  They walked across the street and paused in front of her house. All night Todd had been at her side, bringing her food, chatting with her friends, and generally being a wonderful companion. She knew that he was winning her over. What she didn’t know was what he expected now.

  Were they going to kiss? She was embarrassed to admit that she wanted them to. She wanted to feel his arms around her, pulling her close. She wanted his mouth on hers and his hands everywhere and the fire tearing through her as they—

  ‘‘Beth?’’

  ‘‘Huh?’’ She blinked several times to bring him back into focus. ‘‘What?’’

  ‘‘We’re just standing on the sidewalk. Is something wrong?’’

  She glanced up at her house. ‘‘No. Everything is fine. But it’s Sunday evening and my kids are home.’’ She wasn’t sure if she was warning him away or offering him an excuse to leave.

  ‘‘Great.’’ He looked at his watch. ‘‘It’s still early. Will they be up?’’

  ‘‘Yes.’’

  ‘‘Then let’s go inside. I want to get to know your children better.’’

  He led the way up the driveway, toward the rear of the house. She trailed after him. ‘‘I thought men were supposed to be afraid of women with children, especially teenagers. I know my kids are great, but you don’t.’’

  ‘‘Sure I do,’’ he said as he opened the back door and motioned for her to enter first. ‘‘I had a nice talk with Matt yesterday. I’m sure your daughter is as terrific.’’

  Maybe he was from another planet, she thought, knowing that there had to be some explanation for his behavior and comments. No man was this good. At least not in her limited experience. And even if he was being completely honest, she wasn’t ever this lucky. She had a good life, but she’d had to work for it. Some times had been hard. So what exactly was going on with Todd?

  ‘‘It’s me,’’ Beth called as she stepped into the house. Both her kids were in the kitchen, about to make popcorn. ‘‘Todd was at the barbecue, too. I brought him back for a little bit.’’

  ‘‘Hi,’’ he said as he stopped next to her. ‘‘Matt, Jodi. Good to see you again.’’

  Her children greeted him, then looked at her with surprised expressions. She didn’t know what to tell them. One minute they’d been at Cindy and Mike’s house, the next they were here.

  Her sixteen-year-old daughter must have decided Todd’s presence was a good thing. She smiled at him. ‘‘We’re going to watch a movie and we’re having the usual discussion on caramel versus regular popcorn. Do you want to have a vote?’’

  ‘‘How about making both and mixing them together.’’ Jodi looked at Matt who gave her a thumbs-up.

  ‘‘Okay with you, Mom?’’ Jodi asked.

  ‘‘Sure. Did you two eat?’’

  Matt kept glancing at Todd. ‘‘Yeah. The chicken pasta salad you made this afternoon. It was good. Did anybody bring their kids?’’

  Beth had invited her children along to the barbecue, but both had declined. They knew from experience that these kind of events rarely included anyone their age.

  ‘‘No. You were right.’’ As Matt came around the counter and walked past her, she ruffled his hair. ‘‘As usual.’’

  He grinned at her. ‘‘I’m a guy. I’m used to it.’’

  Todd winked. ‘‘Enjoy that feeling, Matt. As you get older you’ll realize that women are right a lot more often than any of us would like to admit.’’

  ‘‘No way,’’ Matt said with all the confidence of a fourteen-year-old.

  ‘‘Way,’’ Todd promised. ‘‘You’re in for a rude awakening, my man.’’

  Some of the wariness Beth had noticed in her son the previous day seemed to have faded. ‘‘Do you like science fiction?’’ he asked. ‘‘We rented a movie called Stargate. It’s a really cool story about this device that lets you travel across the galaxy to another planet in about thirty seconds. It’s kinda Egyptian there and there’s this weird-looking bad guy who looks a little like a girl, but isn’t.’’

  Beth left them talking and walked into the kitchen. Jodi had already put the regular bag of popcorn into the microwave and was reading the directions for the caramel corn.

  ‘‘You didn’t say Todd was going to be over at Cindy’s,’’ Jodi said, her voice low.

  ‘‘I didn’t know,’’ Beth admitted. ‘‘Apparently he heard about the party and asked to be included.’’

  Jodi sighed. ‘‘It’s very romantic.’’

  Beth found it more terrifying than romantic, but she didn’t say that to her daughter. Teenagers needed their illusions. Sort of like Matt’s firm belief that he would always be more right than any woman in his life.

  ‘‘What would you two like to drink?’’ she called into the family room.

  ‘‘Soda’s fine,’’ Todd answered.

  ‘‘Same for me,’’ Matt tol
d her.

  She collected glasses and filled them with ice, then loaded cans of soda onto the tray and carried everything into the family room. As usual, Matt was sprawled out on the floor. Jodi’s books spilled out of the green wing chair in the corner, which left only the sofa. Todd had settled there, not quite in the middle, but certainly not all the way to one side. Which meant she was going to have to sit next to him.

  ‘‘Thanks, Mom,’’ Matt said when she handed him his drink.

  ‘‘Ditto,’’ Todd said as he took a glass. ‘‘Not the Mom part, though. My feelings are not the least bit maternal.’’

  Light flashed in his blue-gray eyes. Light and desire and a thousand promises she didn’t have the courage to believe.

  She could feel the heat beginning inside of her. It started at her toes and worked its way to her feminine place, then up to her breasts and then to her face until she felt flushed all over. She hoped her children were too interested in Todd to notice her physical reaction to the situation…and his nearness.

  When the drinks were served, she had no choice but to settle on the sofa. She sat a little more toward her side than in the center. Not that he was going to try anything with both her children in the room. Not that she even wanted him to, although it would be kind of nice to be close for a while.

  ‘‘Hurry up, Jo,’’ Matt called. He started the tape, fast-forwarded through the previews, then paused at the beginning of the movie.

  ‘‘I’m coming.’’

  She walked into the family room carrying three bowls of popcorn. She handed one to her brother, placed a second between Beth and Todd and carried the third to her wing chair.

  Over the opening music, Beth leaned close. ‘‘You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,’’ she whispered.

  ‘‘I want to be here,’’ he told her. ‘‘Is that a problem?’’

  ‘‘No.’’ Her voice was small and shaky. She hoped he didn’t notice that or her nervousness. For once she couldn’t dig into the popcorn, although the mixture looked tasty. She couldn’t concentrate on the plot or the characters, either. All she could think about was Todd sitting next to her.

  After he’d crunched his way through about half the bowl of popcorn, he moved it to the coffee table in front of them. As he sat back, he shifted a little closer and rested his hand on top of hers.